15. Quit touching each other!

1. Dress code is dumb

Mildon feels confident his feat will be remembered in suburban basements everywhere for days to come.

or if you know anything else, you can let us know at tips@deadspin.com

It should also be noted that the NASCAR banquet he is boasting about keeping the deposit for is a cancer charity fundraiser.

Totally this except I’d spend the extra $15 & get global entry. The line we bypassed in FLL after coming back from Mexico was worth at least $100 right there. Trust me on this.

At the airport, what is the earliest time before you reach the TSA conveyer belt for it to be appropriate for you to start taking off your shoes?

Spend the money on the van. Especially the DVD players. I was like you, and thought “Who the hell do my kids think they are, getting to watch TV while I’m busting my ass up here driving?”. Now I want to put whoever invented the in-car DVD player on the one dollar bill.

... reading Penthouse Letters. I plug up one hole in the dyke, another one busts open.

This reminds me of the time Hope Solo found my phone and then beat the shit out of me when I wouldn’t give her a reward.

I spilled my beer on Lloyd’s goal, but I broke my coffee table on Wambach’s.

Why did Jim Knox go all Australian at the end there?

Yeah, if you make a CSI, it has to at least make sense.

Someone should have warned him the British were coming.

Abby is still a smart player and probably makes better team decisions when she isn’t fatigued or trying to do it all herself. She and Morgan team up really well. She’s also a better defender than most of our forwards and still scares a lot of the women on the pitch.

Y’know, watching live that looked like the penaltiest penalty that was ever penaltied. But upon seeing the slo-mo, closer replay I felt kinda bad. Not bad enough to want to give it back, of course.

Wait a minute, why did I post this?

“Mr. Gilbert, Lebron has opted out of the last year of his deal with us.”