Sounds like his sternum needs to be terrified of his clavicle

Derek Carr: "I would be more upset if I weren't so heavily sedated."

Here is exactly where they stand:

BRB, going through every article written about AB over the last two months and faving all the Steelers fans’ smug comments.

And like that, the laughs of a million Steelers fans were suddenly silenced.

After all, it IS called “Montezuma’s Revenge.” Pants pooping is a Mexican conspiracy!

As the author of the moniker, a hyphen in “Bobby Two-Strokes,” please.

Yeah, and the Simpsons have already done every joke under the sun, so let’s just all quit now...

To be honest, as much as it has been fun to laugh at this utter insanity of a train wreck, it is also really sad to see Brown be released as he is among the best, if not the best, WR in NFL today. So the fact that we don’t get to see his brilliance, especially due to something as insane as this, is tragic in a way.

How about watching Eddie Murphy kill Pete Davidson with a bomb?

I’d rather go see Eddie Murphy bomb than watch Pete Davidson kill. So yeah...count me in.

The alt-right is the “alt-right” because calling yourself “nazi” or “fascist” is (rightly) placing yourself in bad company. TL;DR: They’re cowards

It is illegal to present a falsified National Weather Service report. BUT! I think that only applies when the country follow laws and stuff.

Eh, the current name’s been wrong for over a hundred years anyways, but I can acknowledge that “1st Runner Up In the War of Northern Aggression” doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue easily.

Listen up, America - this statement:

Sounds more like he was Voluntold to leave.

Sir, this is an Arby's

This fits in sooooo well with WYTS.

This is especially funny because I just finally read the WYTS making fun of whiny aggrieved Saints fans and how ridiculous they are, and then here’s one proving every bit of it to be true. Thanks!