There are only three groups that count as people in this country: corporations, fetuses and white men.

He taught Geomancy at Hogwarts for a couple years, didn’t he?

I still can’t believe a human being has the real name “Lockhart Steele.”

He thinks it’s funny for a straight man to wear a dress and a wig, to speak like a drunk baby, and to jump up and down with a limp wrist after seeing a friend.

Sorry for your loss! I too own an asshole cat, but I’ve recently discovered that a lot of his asshole tendencies were due to stress and/or anxiety. We put him on kitty Prozac and he’s been much better. For anyone with an asshole misbehaving cat, maybe look into that, because it could be that your cat has some issues.

I just got a kitten a few months ago, first time in my life I have ever owned a cat as I have always firmly considered myself a dog person. I love that kitten more than I could have ever imagined. Her little meows melt me and I don’t know why I ever thought I was NOT a cat person. My condolences for your loss, I am…

Kelloggs sounds a lot like my cat Isaac. He is so generous with his affection, but drives me crazy by constantly pushing my buttons. I can understand your feelings of grief and relief, and I’m sorry for your loss.

Oh my god, I had a glorious bastard of a cat and I know all. of. these. feelings. My condolences.

So sorry Rich! I really empathize with your jerk-cat love. I live alone with my two cats now. My boyfriend and I adopted them together, but we broke up. Ever since he left they’re up in my shit 24/7 when I’m hope. Wailing like they’re the loneliest animals on earth, sitting on me the instant I sit down, following me…

This is beautifully written and brought back a lot of funny memories of obnoxious shit my dearly departed cats used to do.

I’m passing out stars so hard today. So many touching pet stories. Good job, all.

My cat is 18-years-old so I have been expecting him to die for a while now. I instantly assume he’s dead whenever I can’t find him or if he hasn’t moved in a few hours. So I won’t be surprised, but I’ll still be a wreck whenever it finally does happen. But he sure doesn’t seem ready. I just sprinkle some catnip on his…

I’m so, so sorry. I also had a cat die very young, only a year and a half old, of a terminal infection called FIPS (feline infectious peritonitis). It has a 99.9% mortality rate. We knew he would die, and we probably kept him alive longer than we should have— we spent almost all of the money we got from our wedding…

I’m so sorry. He’s was gorgeous boy, you gave him a wonderful life and in return he terrorized yours. Sending head bonks and healing purrs.

I have a Kelloggs, altho mine is named Optimus Feline. He spent the bulk of the morning sitting on my ass (I swear you can most easily identify problem areas based on where your cat sleeps), I’m so sorry for your loss. Everytime is the worst time.

I kind of know how you feel. We had a dog when I was a teen and he was not well-trained, spoiled, high-maintenance but he was also a sweetheart and we adored him. He died quite young and suddently which was shocking and heartbreaking. Part of the mixed up emotions (mostly grief and loss) I felt after he died was a bit…

I am so sorry for your loss. The death of a pet is often overlooked, but it’s so hard. I hope your heart heals well.

Muscles or the indication of physical strength are not allowed on women. We must all be smooth silly putty women with stick arms and legs. No muscles allowed! Not even on athletes. Be strong, just don’t *dare* look it.

I mean damn, even a female boxer isn’t allowed to have thick, strong-looking arms???

bless all of you that 100% did not read this essay and yet commented angrily anyway about how you essentially agree with the point of the essay