One stripe to rule them all:

Sure, Tampa’s GM is a genius, yet when I get caught unloading the Bishop in an NHL arena I’m some kind of a pervert.

yes because it has a manual

You know what? Fuck you guys, I want an R63 now.

Censors and outraged Christian mothers thinking of their children.

I bet they want us to think he intentionally honked the horn and not that it was the first thing to go wrong.

You misunderstand the AE-86 purpose. Forced induction is the last it needs.

Three days ago, the Rockets could have gotten Boogie Cousins for that haul.

He says he’s in the right lane.

Or... you could just move over.

Intentionally causing collisions is illegal. How about you just get out of the way instead of brake-checking?

Sooo, because they are driving dangerously you decide to cause an accident? Nice move.

Yea...you’re kinda a jerk...(actually, remove the kinda...).

This could have been her entire article.

Can a memo be sent to all gawker staff to start referring to him as the white power bottom, please?

Yes, they hired me to tell you that any scene with Keanu Reeves reading dialogue in this movie could easily be replaced by an old comic store cardboard cutout of Neo from The Matrix and nobody would notice.

Do you mean jeopardizing the health of his best player by playing him a ton of minutes every game?

Yep. We’ll probably be seeing that piss tape real soon.

Joe Paterno’s son is already denying he knew anything about this.

Not that my team of choice would have a shot in hell anyways with Big Chief Triangle at the helm.