Doesn't apply, just wanted to post this

It would be a hell of a catch if you guys can secure it.

"The ref blows his whistle, and everyone stops, and you look around all confused like, "What? What happened? I thought we had a nice thing going on here.""

"Yeah, and...?" - Tim Duncan

This little dude occasionally appears at various tournaments too but unlike the Pokemon champion, he always loses, no matter what!

Secret Service Agent 1: I'm only going to ask you one more time. Are you working with anyone else?
Secret Service Agent 2: ANSWER him, you slippery son of a bitch!
Secret Service Agent 1: Are you working with anyone else? Anyone else? Yes or no?
Seal: [Leans forward]
Seal: [Coughs]
Seal: [Claps twice]
Secret Service Agent…

They might be the best team in the [passes out in pool of vomit]

Fuck you. For being right.

Done.

BREAKING: the NFL has hastily and retroactively promoted Cardinals linebacker John Abraham to executive.

"This shift is too long."

Half-Life.

Reporter 1: [Watching drill] God, what a tremendous asshole.
Reporter 2: You'd think so, but really, it's just a little puckering from the ice water.

Kid: Why do you flop Dwyane Wade?

As usual, Wade offered no defense.

She's fucking someone else, bro.

$75k a month in alimony and child support? Hardly the first time a tip has gotten him in trouble.

someone might have posted this already but.....

DALE BUEY!