I'm not seeing him in a jail cell. I'm seeing him rich and famous and respected and receiving some criticism. The standard for judging people socially is not "beyond a reasonable doubt."

IT'S

So nobody thinks it's blatantly obvious that the "no homo" thing was, I dunno, mocking the statement? Like the way he put it there when it didn't make any sense, WROTE OUT, "Pause," and then further clarified he was straight? Like he was lampooning men who feel the need to specify they're straight and throw out shit…

I read this. And you'll regret it one day if you don't. I have many starts and ends of great stories in my head, but never a complete one. If you have one, you should definately commit it to paper even if you never publish it.

No one is going to read this, but I have this sprawling fictional universe in my head that represents nearly a decade of work and research. I've never put a word of it to paper, because I'm worried that people will laugh if they ever find out about it.

Hell, when was the last time your shrink held you in their arms? Would you want them to anyway?

I like the part where he gives me dating advice, which includes hiring him. That was my favorite.

I was on the phone with a couple friends the other night, and we decided that two of us — me and another woman — were naturally young acting. The third friend said she felt born old, and how everyone always treated her that way even when she was a kid, and that she envied our spirit.

I was about to ask "what do you mean grandma's favorite?" because I love it. Then, had that moment when I realized I aint that young.

The Comment Section for Every Article Ever Written About Intimate Grooming

Is there a level 0 or perhaps -1, the kind that just mysteriously *goes away*, like when you have to sneeze and then you just don't?

And, you know, from as objective a standpoint I can muster, lying about personal details in your past when you're running for elected office is both weird and sloppy.

When Wayne comes on the set and says, "Don't fucking talk to me. Have my fucking music ready. Get the fuck up out of my face…It's cool.

The last time I had a discussion with anyone about whether it was "better" to be nice to racist/sexist assholes, it was with my husband, and it devolved into an EPIC fight that ranks in one of our top three. He was saying that it's better because it's the high road, being the change you want to see, killing them with…

"First, I must confess that over the last few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in the stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Council-er or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate who is…

Pretty sure he ended up crucified actually

Other racists will give them jobs, don't worry.

I wish I could say that I didn't do the exact same thing to my dachshund puppy but I did. And it was adorable.

I'm not religious, so I don't believe in what you call "boogie monster stuff". I do think that even someone who is deeply religious and believes in exorcism is capable of knowing that murder is horrible.

You might as well say that because Easter is fictitious it's equally believable that it should involve stabbing. There's "make-believe" and there's "how did you even get from A to B".