Please use Lyft. The company is much friendlier to women.

“Mom, this might sound a little strange, but Ted just brought home 100 cans of soup, so I brought them back to the—”

*?*

The best part is the call to her mother.  I have so many questions about that phone call, but I will just say that if my daughter called me the day after her honeymoon and told me that her new husband just came home with 100 cans of Chunky Soup I’d call the police.

We have so much adventure ahead!

“Ted Cruz has done so much for Texas, including massive cuts in taxes and regulations - which has brought Texas to the best jobs numbers in the history of the state. He watches carefully over your 2nd Amendment. O’Rourke would blow it all! Ted has long had my Strong Endorsement!”

He.....he does realize that people…

Also how they get so hard over the Revolution and supposedly breaking free from a tyrannical monarchy in the name of Liberty and Freedom (read: rich guys didn’t want to have their slaves freed or lose a slither of their income to the British parliament) before bowing to every whim of the Saudis, who are the literal…

Not that I expect it form these people, but how are they squaring the circle of “we think Muslims are bad because they do Sharia Law, the worst thing imaginable” with “Saudi Arabia is good, even though it is run by the thing we keep Chicken Littleing about?”

My thoughts exactly, an Olsen twin with a dash of the KKs and, as noted above, Ivanker.

She looks like one of the Olsens 

You never go full Kirk Cameron.

It seems to be a custom, promo Sharpie. I’m curious about it’s origin.

Now I cant unsee that along with the fact she posed so hard to include the eagle perfectly.

Take a look at Mary Bono’s marker. I know it’s a bald eagle, but its 2D design where the wings are outstretched and the head tilts to the left is awfully reminiscent of a certain regime’s Reichsadler.

So, can I use this to go off on a bit of a tangent?

She was only nice because Elgort is white, and was doing something for her. “The Most bullied Person In The World” is a vicious, vapid shrew. May she have many more years of life with her vulgar, cheating buffoon. 

When these immigrants come into the country, we’re not getting their best people. I’m not saying she’s in the Slovenian version of MS-13, but I’m not not saying that.

Simone’s response was perfect. I admire her even more now.

God I hate that smug, ignorant s.o.b. And his pneumatic new galpal. I do hope his wife is ecstatic at his departure, she always seemed on the surface like the only sane, likeable Trump. Unlike Lara, who married the dumber one-it has to be for money- and happily shills and cleans up after her truly shitty in-laws.

Is no one else grossed out by the salt running down his(most likely) hair covered arms and on to the meat? *hurl* Coming from the restaurant industry, I’d WTF a coworker who did that shit. Hope Donnie Jr. liked the unnecessary extra skin cells and hair in his food.