yes, what is your address salamander? This internet stranger wants to know, I mean, I do know now, about your butt virginity, so no diffs, right?

Thank you Ashes! You are too kind. There MUST be some orifice on you that is still a virgin. Come on, think hard. THINK. I need to post a certificate of authenticity for you, just returning the favor, like a good internet stranger friend.

And I was all - It hurts, I am ready, turned on, but it Hurrrrttsss! So just the tip, mmmkay.

Then you were a terrible child and I love you.

All of this is small potatoes compared to the inappropriateness of DAD being concerned about his daughters intact hymen. How Gross. How could someone not find it bizarre that their dad wants to know if their hymen is intact. Would I want to know if my daughter is sexually active ONLY because I want to tell her about…

He was probably jacking off behind the curtain and he was almost there, almost, and you ruined it by not telling him more.

Mormons do the same weird creepy thing, still a virgin, but — BUTT stuff.

Thanks for sharing. I had plenty of laughs and sadness that I never discovered this before.

That is my favorite black dynamite quote ever. I miss that show, is it like gone, GONE, or BRB, gone?

NOPE.

Its like that viral Facebook post, that tells you if being robbed at the ATM,enter you PIN in backwards and the police will magically show up.

Xanax. Always Xanax. Nothing works but Xanax (or anything in the “pam” family).

That is what I was like reading this headline —- I hope so??

Yes this part, right here - [ fuck Putin, he should be shot on sight.]

Isn't this like their 3rd fucking time? SHIT! What the ever living fuck. Cant someone just kill this dude already?

I try so hard to like Qdoba. I do, but the food is so awful. Its actually pitiful. I would just close shop, because they are getting BODIED by Chipotle anyway, soooo…...

That movie was the absolute greatest.

I think we should all change our names in protest. I need something way more racist than watermelondria, umm… shit… I got nothing.

She took it to another level of racist shit, its like how my white husband SWEARS his white best friend actually knew these two brothers name Lemonjello and OrangeJello, although snopes has been all over that shit for years. But noooooo, he actually knew them. Knew them.

People are stupid - Well to be honest I haven’t had someone rude and crazy enough to disturb me while I was reading a book. But when I am out, clearly showing the signs of marriage (‘rang on my fingah) I flash the biggest goofiest smile ever, even engage them a bit then make no eye contact and no conversations after…