Head like a fucking orange.

First of all, don't go looking for trouble. Just like you're entitled to your opinion, I'm entitled to my rebuttle. Yes, even if I call it "going off." I chose not to, before. Now I will.

Second of all, a lot of parents (you're not the only one) seem to think that the World revolves around them and their children.…

We get it that the children need to be protected from the real world. But what about me? I'm a taxpaying adult who enjoys this show. I go to bed at 10 PM because I get up early for work. Is it really that big a deal for you to turn the channel? When I was a kid my parents said "sorry, nope you don't get to watch that"…

And Happy Endings! Now that's a Max I can get on board with.

Funny. I hate this show, because joke-wise it's a female version of Two and a Half Men.

OK, what is with this bullshit lately trying to generalize Europe into some sort of a one homogenous block of hippie love with snide little sarcastic remarks?

Loves exclamation points!

The other 20% is on Alex McCord who is busy working in Brooklyn while the rest of us are busy being mean girls in high school.
!!
OMG, I love you for this reference.

Hooray!! for reading a weekend Dirtbag that doesn't make me feel like this:

"Will you stand and face life with me?"

Right! An auspicious beginning! Welcome Mark!

Stop trying to make secret married happen.

Don't feel smug. That just means you never saw the one good Lindsay Lohan movie.

Nothing says "we're back together" better than a 10 yard courtesy gap between lovers.

I have some concerns about what i happening on her head. This is your wedding, not a Bikram yoga session, dear.

looks like a used tampon

Kaley Cuoco looks like she just hopped out of bed into a dress she had to play princess (because, everyone needs a princess dress). And she still looks beautiful. And I love her. Also, relevant:

No one should have to go through so many steps at the crack of 1:00 on New Year's Day. Here's a before and after, happy 2014!

Other Jezebel stories from today:

You know what I think? I think you did mean Mahatma Gandhi and now you're trying to cover your embarrassment for having made such a mistake. Especially because the reaction to Indira Gandhi's death was far from universal shock and grief (and the aftermath included retaliation against Sikhs), and that two members of…