I also recently learned the tough lesson that spending extra money doesn't always lead to the desired results. My wife declared a "red alert" while on the way to our Valentine's Day dinner.

Yeah but what you failed to mention is that in the remaining 85% the BBC were showing highlights of the 1966 World Cup final.

Nice to see Jay Leno getting work so soon after leaving The Tonight Show.

But the bright side is that you are now the American sports journalist who was banned from the 2014 Olympics for online pics of you yanking off your knob.

One Cougar no Milfs.

One thing can be said, the Kemp family reunion at least had a cheap bar tab.

Water: [breaks]

For these ladies' sake, let's hope the opening ceremony is less of an abortion than the rest of the games so far.

It's still a more functional Left Eye than Lisa Lopes.

Russian Security Officer: "What is wrong with eye?"

The modern update of Deadwood focused a bit too much on local zoning issues for my tastes.

Deadspin Jeopardy

Could ESPN Conjure a More Beaten-To-Death Narrative Over Which Vapid Debate Ran Its Course More Than a Year Ago and Yet Any Opportunity to Bring Up the Cash Cow is Readily Seized Upon by Network Executives in A Cynical Ploy to Boost Ratings to the Detriment of All Our Collective Happiness and Emotional Stability?

[stares at football field]

Mark Kelso was my childhood introduction to NFL concussions. My reaction as a kid was; if it keeps them from hurting their head, why don't they all wear them?

"Whatever." - Mark Kelso.

The question is, why aren't these helmets mandatory?

And just like that, Lebatard is my new favorite ESPN gasbag.

You guys didn't lead into this story right. She is sitting with Cara Delevingne, one of the top runway models in the world, notorious party girl, and rumored lesbian. Thats a headline if I've ever read one. (see: hand on thigh last pic)