I line everything up in two rows at the edge of the conveyor closest to the checkout person. First comes anything geometric that is not fragile—cartons of chicken broth, the expensive-ass organic milk the ol’ lady makes me buy, bags of flour, boxes of dryer sheets.

Exactly. You put like thing together, so the bagger will put like things together, so you can put those like things together into the pantry/fridge/freezer.

Wow. What a terrible situation. My deepest sympathies.

You are living your life correctly. My husband and I are now huge fans of the wine bags you get when visiting wineries - those things are awesome for keeping any type of glass bottle separated (no more olive oil breakage!) and I am kind of an ass for insisting the poor bag boy use them, but then they’re like, “Jesus,…

Get your porn on the internet, like everyone else. Not at the grocery store.

Embarassing supermarket purchases are the reason God made self checkouts. If a store doesn't have self checkout, I don't shop there.

I can totally agree with this. My own little twist is savint the produce for last because the weighing and code typing tends to let the bagger catch up a little on bagging.

As a 10 year vet of food retail, I can tell you honestly that you are doing it correctly. Also, unless your purchases are extremely out of the norm, like say 50 cucumbers and a jar of KY with nothing else, your cashier and bagger are probably too busy to notice or care.

It has taken 5+ years and dozens of divorce threats for my wife to condition me to do it this way. It really is a great way to do it. The only way, I meant the only way please don’t hit me again.

We are.

Correct.

If it makes you feel any better, I can tell you in two years I NEVER noticed anyone’s embarrassing purchases. Usually you’re working so fast and automatically you barely register there are people making these purchases.

This is the only way to put your shit on the conveyor. All other ways are false.

Saw him in Tampa last year the night the Lightning eliminated the Bruins from playoff contention. He was obviously pissed and took some shots at the team as he got on stage (all in fun). As he left he said good luck to the Lightning. One of the funniest men I have ever seen in person.

Perfect. This looks exactly like the type of basketball team I’d expect St. Louis to support.

That’s what I want. A truck that doesn’t apologize.

Fucking a man. Burn them all.

At least these robbers actually got something of value out of West’s room. The last guy to rob Joe Flacco only walked away with 20 bucks, half a pack of vanilla wafers, and a slightly more dejected outlook on life.

I didn’t before, but I now dislike the Pirates.

+1 Darren Wilson jersey