The cat makes too much noise in the bin and my girlfriend hears it. Any tips?

Henry Rowengartner definitely would’ve needed Tommy John surgery. His mechanics were a disaster.

Who figured out freaking almonds? Those things are pretty much always poisonous in the wild. Cyanide. So a lot of people probably died before they found ones that didn’t kill them. And it’s not like they look super tempting, so why did people keep trying?

I think about things like this entirely too much. Like who first tried rotten milk in the form of cheese or yogurt and found it was good? Or who figured out that those little, inedible, rocks on an olive tree could be made edible by soaking them in poisonous lye for a few weeks?

Emotions...the invulnerable man’s kryptonite.

How? I’m invulnerable, remember?

I was saying Boooooourns.

Most snobbish is probably Marchman about Michigan, which isn’t even his real alma mater! Least snobbish is Marchman about his actual alma mater.

Half Acre Daisy Cutter is the greatest beer of all time.

I too am a sweaty gross man, but what I dont understand is his sweat distribution....... it EVERYWHERE.

That comment about the shorts hits it dead on. If only I could get away with wearing black workout shorts every day during the summer.

Your playing Beer Pong with a corpse, I’m sure you’re not above getting teenage african boys drunk.

I always hear goobers saying “the casinos will buy up tickets and give them to patrons”. Not a chance, the Casinos don’t want you to ever leave the Casino building, which is why they build them as huge interconnected structures.

It would be sold pretty exclusively as a “thing to do” for visitors in Vegas, essentially. Sell out the luxury boxes to all the casinos and then a new crowd of midwestern dudes having their bachelor parties every weekend!

Elbow rule, dude. Manute would have to take his shots from the fucking front yard because otherwise his elbow is gonna be over the edge of the table if he is anywhere in the house.

Like I needed an excuse to post this:

I think Las Vegas by far is the largest US city that doesn’t have a major sports team. They hit their 10,000 season ticket deposit goal already.

Also by having them play their home games on the strip you also have anywhere between 40k and 100k people literally staying down the road from the arena every day, plenty of…

It would be a cheap place for away teams fans though. Given the prices in places like Toronto it might even be cheaper for fans to go see a game in Vegas. They could probably fill quite a few seats. Not a great atmosphere for the home team though.

You sir are very funny. Thanks for the afternoon laugh.

Holy shit, you got me with the end there.