"If there's a Jacques Demers joke I haven't read and enjoyed, it's because I'm Jacques Demers."
-Jacques Demers

Can we just take a moment to talk about how Jake Gyllenhaal got ROBBED of his Oscar nomination? And then write hateful paragraphs about him in his honor?

Because it was the closest Hollywood has gotten to an original science fiction movie that you could imagine being written by an actual science fiction writer.

I used to do that until I got tired of explaining that many of those carpet stains were not from the blood of innocents. Odd that the distinction never seemed to matter to anybody.

I used to do that until I got tired of explaining that many of those carpet stains were not from the blood of…

On an unrelated note, it's so weird to know that you're Imgur-famous but still have a burner icon over here.

Uh... I think you are confusing the general term "handicapped" with "mentally handicapped." There's a difference. If your grandmother is too old to shovel and your grandfather is undergoing chemo, they certainly qualify for handicap designation. My grandfather has qualified for handicapped designation since he was in…

DIBSGHAZI

huh?

Alright, you won me back over.

Yep, the $150 a month for my spot is the best money ever spent. Always a spot and always clean. Bliss.

I watched a production of The Tempest in the back patio of a bar last month where the comedic relief drank from a "wine jug" and then loudly complained that it was Malort. One of many highlights from that show.

You just summed up my entire mindset about this game.

I am a shining beacon of reasonability. Print it!

I think regardless of how Cutler is perceived, this is hilarious. This would be just as funny if it were Tom Brady or Tony Romo.

It's their best work yet.

His new number is too long to fit on it.

I thought they might have traded him for someone decent, looked it up, nope.

http://www.hockey-reference.com/players/b/beau…

Jesus. Is Chappelle getting to be as good at predicting shit now as The Onion?