Bear Friday is the only thing that keeps me from attempting to press my bosses face into the paper shredder at the end of every week. Such majestic, powerful beasts.

Or worse, a Trump rally

Friday. It’s always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there’s less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.

The more whey, the better. The only motivation I have left to get myself to the gym is the thought of getting to crop-dust a group of grunting bros with hot protein farts.

Maybe if they were dead teenage african boys.

You tryin to get me busted for providing a minor with alcohol?!?

As a midwestern dude that’s going there for a bachelor party in 2 weeks....touche...

People who let the reanimated dead play against them, probably.

I’ll never understand why they feel the need to put a team in Vegas. The city is full of transplants. It’s like putting another team in Florida or Arizona, no one is going to show up to root for the home team. There’s no reason to rush it, wait on Seattle to be ready.

Because I asked him politely.

If you don’t penalize for reaching across the table, I’m taking Manute Bol as my beer pong partner. He’d just reach across and drop the balls into the cups. He would also probably have some great stories about not being alive anymore.

You alright?

psssst.....he’s American.

If he bothers you, I’ll take care of him. What you’ve got to do is cut the hamstring on the back of his leg right at the bottom. He’ll never play basketball again, because his weight displacement goes back, all his weight is on his right foot, and he’ll push everything off to the right. He’ll never come through on…

I am convinced that if I don’t drink coffee every day, I would never poop.

Sausage McMuffin...

Only at Laquan McDonald’s will you be fed 16 bullets for the price of 1. You’ll be blown away by the savings!

Not with that attitude they won’t

Who is this guy, the Duke of Tripoli or something??

His weight and the training have no doubt put a strain on his heart, hopefully he pulls through.