Two reasons I like this move.

I destroyed a robot man before and I’ll do it again. You bleed just like the rest of us, robot.

No one tell Greg that he’s white

My girlfriend farted herself awake a few days ago. I didn’t think these things actually happened. I’m allowed to make fun of her forever about that, right?

Do what I do. Unzip, hang some brain, and the boo will come to you. And if boo is coo and you don’t act a foo, you may stir their poo

“Dance with her, Mike! Dance with her!” I'll never get that scene out of my head.

When I was in 8th grade, my teacher forced one of the boys in my class to dance with her mentally challenged 20 year old daughter. Aerosmith’s I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing was playing. It was pretty hot

I’m a 28 year old man, but I’m pretty sure I’m still not allowed anywhere near antiques.

Should have saved it for Bear Friday.

hehehehehe phalus.

Boss is circling the office and doesn’t even say a word as I’m trying to find pandas. Sometimes I feel like I’m working for Kruger Industrial Smoothing.

A few more years of futility for the Eagles. Guess you can say that Kelly will leave a lot of Eagles fans with quite the monkey on their back.

LACES OUT

Lemmy’s blood was 3/4 Jack Daniels, the mole on his face was a diety in Papau New Guinea, and his voice was hoarse from screaming “hail Satan” at nuns while still a toddler. He was a hard rocking, harder partying, Nazi loving son of a bitch and we’ll miss him.

The entire coverage of the Patrick Kane debacle. Especially by Buffalo’s Tim Graham and everyone who used his source material to write their own articles. Including all Deadspin coverage.

Well, now that that’s settled, I’m sure my state’s politicians will start working on the horrific gun violence in Chicago!

I was at this game. Had box seats with all the food I could eat. Hot dogs and cheese cake do not mix well. The Bulls aren’t the only ones in trouble tonight

Dent, Hampton, Singletary, Wilson, and Marshall... The only dancing Newton would have been doing would be shaking his legs to get the lumps of crap out of his pants.

This kind of thing has been happening in fighting for decades. No one batted an eye when the WWF was basically giving money directly to the Iron Sheik.