Well, at least he can defend himself?

This changes nothing

Back in high school, I shared a bedroom with my younger brother, which was difficult because he was a frequent sleepwalker. The hardwood floors would creak when he would get up and walk out of the room. I would have to follow him and bring him back to bed at least 2-3 times a week.

Dislocated my thumb playing baseball in HS, popped it back into place. I did a terrible job

“Hey, you there, grown men playing a game for a living! Yes, you! Stop having fun”

It’s a shame Xi closed his eyes for that one, would have been a lovely picture

Oh god, yessssss. num num num num num

As a Sox fan, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. *clutches onto memories of 05 World Series* Safe for another year, my precious...

Being in Chicago, I feel like I’m spoiled because our city is in distribution range of some great beers. Bell’s, Three Floyds, Firestone, Half Acre, Revolution, etc. So years ago when I saw that Goose Island was bought by Amheiser Busch, I was unhappy at first, but having a major company own the brewery allows other…

Patent Pending.

Hahahaahah because I’m going to wear her skin as a coat

Most photographed person in the world is my neighbor. You’ll be mine one day, you little minx you...

Are we going to just leave out the possibility that he was just sleep-walking away from the crime? Sleepwalkers have no control over what they are doing and to wake them up, especially one as large as him, would be dangerous for all involved.

There is literally no evidence that an assault occurred...

If you think Cardinals fans are bad, wait until the Cubs win a WS. I am surrounded by these people on a daily basis and they are the 2nd most insufferable fans in baseball. The team deserves to win, the fans deserve nothing. Up until this year, the majority wouldn’t watch the games, didn’t know the players, and wore…

Chicago has both Fogo and Texas de Brazil. I have done extensive research on both and can say with confidence that Texas de Brazil is the better of the two.

Do they have the garlic mashed potatoes, caramelized plantains, and cheese bread on the table there, to fill you up so you don’t eat too much meat? Even though you just end up eating 3 plates of all 3 of them anyway on top of the meat. They have never once made money on me.

Texas de Brazil, summer of 2014. Now if you don’t know about Texas de Brazil, it’s a goddamn meat free for all. Brazilian style steakhouse where they bring around various meats on skewers, including the ever delicious bacon wrapped filet mignon. They do not stop bringing more meat to your table until you flip over a…

LOLOL sweet comment, bro.