Well, Heath, the bell tolls for thee

Broccoli is delicious and I will fight any man who says differently. Damnit

It's pronounced "peay"

And if we don't like Duke, but still enjoy being scum?

Hi yes, I have a question. When you're having a period, are you constantly worried about bear attacks? If so, which brand of bear repellent works best, I'm going camping in May and have an invested interest in this. Thank You.

"Young guys are afraid of women's bodies. 'My girlfriend's having her period, what do I do?' Fuck her in her period hole, you idiot. What's the dilemma? I don't give a shit. If you're having your period, come on over. I'm 41, I'll fuck the shit out of you. I'll drink the blood, let's party." - Louis C.K.

Boss - "Hey, are you through with those invoices?"

Then do it for yourself. People like us live our entire lives trying to live up to other people's expectations. It's ok to put yourself first.

That's great news. Just remember that you'll probably have to see a few different people to find the right fit for you. The first guy I saw was a know it all that was more interested in talking than listening, but I found someone who I was comfortable with after a few tries. Hopefully it all works out for you!

Been there man, been there. I waited years and years and kept everything in. One day, the flood days burst open and I became unhinged. Angry and desperate. All people see is what you allow them too and unfortunately, when you shut yourself off from everyone, you're left feeling even more alone than before. Just…

I know that Philly is filled with sick fucks, but come on, stop building up this guys hopes when you're just going to tear him down again.

12. The Dreaded Blue Balls. "Racquetball"

Those of us who have been so lucky as to have some sort of anxiety disorder, coupled with depression, know that owning up and talking to someone about it is the hardest thing in the world. You worry about what your friends and your family are going to think and that you don't want them to worry about you, so you keep…

People usually don't respond to my rants with reasonable answers. I'm not sure how to handle this, so I'm going to keep my guard up. Provel lacks consistency and that angers me.

Let me just spin you a little tale about a bright eyed boy from Chicago, who went to school in Central Illinois. As you would imagine, there were many people from St. Louis, Southern IL, who also went to this large university. Many friends I made were from your city, so I traveled there biannually. Let me tell you…

Oh god, your desperate attempts to insult someone who nailed you on the head....oh god...numnumnumnumnumnum

If you're comfortable admitting you're a Jets fan, do these things still upset you, or are you now incapable of feeling anything?

I feel like Chip Kelly is about to drop a bomb and say that that Santa Claus that was assaulted so many years ago by Philly fans, was actually his father, and this is his sweet, sweet revenge