#1. Whichever one will make me poop the fastest.

Under Armour for babies is an unnecessary product.

My favorite crayon is Tickle Me Black & Blue

It shouldn't have to be

I've always been fond of their Little Sumpin Sumpin, because it tastes great and it becomes funnier to say the more that you have. By your 6th, 7th beer, you're basically asking for sexual favors.

I don't have any...

The. Fucking. Amish.

Spoken like a man who's never rocked a pair of cut-off jorts while sweat visibly trickles down your inner thigh on a sultry summer's eve.

King Me.

All that estrogen is making a more sensitive Manny, who wants you to talk about your bad day at the plate.

312 is still great, their new 312 pale ale isn't half bad. The acquisition by InBev has also led to more production of Bourbon County Stout because of the ability to purchase more bourbon barrels. If you're lucky enough to have tried Bourbon County, you'll know that this is a very good thing for humanity.

That marshmallow should have been #1.

My best friend moved up to Minneapolis from Chicago a few years back. I'll go up 2-3 times a year and am surprised by how super laid back everything is. Chicago is friendly, but MSP seems almost too nice...like suspiciously nice. It's hard to tell genuine kindness from contempt

It wasn't good enough. It needs to be one giant "fuck you". Not something everyone knows about. Minnesota is known for that passive aggressive attitude. People act all friendly but are full of shit. Nothing new.

Well, now they're just really going to get their moneys worth for the first offense.

Should have had someone who wasn't a Vikes fan write this one. I feel like you really didn't shit on Minnesota like you did to other teams and their cities/states. I hope Peterson does end up on Dallas. He deserves to leave that frozen, passive aggressive wasteland that the Vikings call home

This is why Rob Ford is on crack and I love him for it