When the facts are on your side, argue facts.

/pulls out New York Post headline "DICK INCOGNITO"

I'm a white sox fan and I was glad to see him get traded to a WS contender. As cliche as it sounds, that dude lives for the game of baseball and I was happy to see him get a ring

"Wait a minute...it's duck boat? Well, this is embarrassing. "

The last time A-Rod was seen spitting his seed at a dog was during his stint with Madonna.

...

Smallwood added that he felt the remark was heap anti-semetic.

I swear I have that exact same towel.

"If you fuck a stranger in the ass, this is what's gonna happen."

Dwight played this all wrong. If you don't want to stay with Kobe, you're supposed to at least get a giant fucking ring out of it.

Every time I see something like this, I am always reminded of a specific comic...

In related news, prices on George Zimmerman muumuus remain stable.

At least they had the sense to change the press release from its original: "Our final solution is to terminate Hernandez."

In his defense, being forced to remain in Fall River is cruel and unusual punishment.

"Chief Pays-With-Credit-Card"

The bit's insensitivity is less offensive than its total lack of humor.

So two gay men say they are the father of the baby? Makes sense.

I think he put his hair on backwards...

the letter is binding because its signed by Christ.

Here's a thought experiment, Wise Media Critic Guy: imagine that the dipshit who plays the vampire guy in the Twilight movies publicly, uh, "misspoke" his marathon time by more than an hour, and also falsely claimed to have once been a regular marathoner as part of a broader claim to being a highly motivated athlete…