He is afraid of death and I am afraid of life.

Makes sense, seeing as both take about 14 shots before they get a point

I can’t believe George Lucas drives a motherfucking Jeep.

There are deep psychological explanations for Vontaze Burflict’s behavior. He’s taking out his anger at a world which spellchecks refuse to recognize his name.

Remember when Christopher Hitchens got waterboarded to challenge his own views? Can we unleash Vontaze Burfict on this motherfucker?

To be fair, brain damage likely accounts for over 50% of his support.

It’s okay Tom. Chances are it is just a potato gun.

Chip Kelly’s system is a natural fit for them. The 49ers offense is already one of the quickest in the league at getting on and off the field.

The Blazers should have had Doc adopt McCollum. Then Doc would have insisted that he play at least 30 minutes.

Also, if Edgar Martinez doesn't get into the Hall before David Ortiz, I'm going to Cooperstown and burning the damn place to the ground.

This is just performance art. Bob is doing 10,000 non-sensical tweets in response to rumors of being able to write 10,000 characters on Twitter.

I played sports growing up and through high school and college, and never saw anything like this happen. How prevalent are these incidents? It’s crazy to me how often these stories have been coming up lately.

“Mr. Howard, who hasn’t done jack shit in years, is widely considered to have the single worst contract in Major League Baseball history. Ruben Amaro, that stupid asshole, extended him years before he was even eligible for free agency. He didn’t even buy out his pre-arb years! This was fair in that it paid Mr. Howard…

Hey, it’s partially true. Howard is a “talented and wide ly respected athlete.”

Howard is a “talented and widely respected athlete.”

At the end of the day, it’s all about the dough.

TECHNICALLY, it’s space opera/fantasy, not science fiction.
*Pushes up glasses*
*Sniffs own fart*

By the way, there’s a whole lot of people out there bitching that the new movie is too much like the first Star Wars movie

Past? He has a substance abuse present.

“Uh, yeah, my name is...Billy. Uh, Billy......Football.”