One way or another, a Browns QB is going to go out and get smashed.

You can’t spell Griffin without ‘IR’. Just, not in that order

+1 Daniel Stern Oscar-worthy supporting performance

Me too. Nothing gets my day jazzed up like childhood injuries.

+1 eephus pitch inspired by your mother

Brees didn’t say he wanted Kaepernick thrown in jail, or that he thought failing to respect the flag should be barred. He said he disagreed with Kaepernick’s stance on the flag. You can agree or disagree with Brees, but both you and the author of this piece seem eager to present him as a hypocrite, and there’s no…

Counterpoint:

Hi Merril!

I’m just glad that his 45+ years of sports experience can be boiled down to the platitude of one’s needing to want it more, because for instance that’s what is standing in my way of taking down Usian Bolt in the 100m.

Anthony Bennet had the flu.

And now he’s going to be disqualified for having the runs.

I was totally expecting his dick pics. This is awkward now.

They might have hard turf in North Dakota, but there’s a shortage of insanely fast, aggressive black dudes up there.

Land of 10,000 Lakes, my ass.

I bet Riley Cooper had that ‘coon removed from the stadium.

No snark, Hannah Storm handles these unfortunate and unenviable reports with aplomb, striking just the right balance of professionalism and humanism.

NOW HEARING: CAAAAASE NUUUMBER TWO NINE FIVE OOOOOOOOHHH SIX TWO, THE STATE VS. RIIIIIIIIICK TROOOOTTER

Pacquiao: No more talk! It’s time for me to fight drugs!

Listen, Horse People, my dog does dressage every time I bring his food bowl to him, and he’s a spectacularly stupid animal. It’s not that hard.

Sure, they went to good schools. But judging by the collective command of the English language, they didn’t really LEARN anything at those schools.