Oh sure. But when J.J. Redick exercises the same option, he's a pariah.

I don't think the Heat will have to worry about Wade. He hasn't been able to exercise in years.

I mean, he's LeBron's agent. Of course he's going to be rich.

This is going to ruin FIFA's reputation.

Pretty sure that's a Lambo, dude.

Hill: Cool ride. What do you get in terms of MPG?

I don't get all the hate.

This has been Evan-Turner Overdrive, "Let It Ride (I Can't, No Gas)."

Hilarious. His career ran out of gas in Philly.

His dick told the police "I know we've had our share of fistfights but I never thought he'd pull a gun on me."

After this error, the Rockies have decided to replace him with Matt Palmer III. He's not quite CD-quality, but he's much less likely to fuck up while trying to run.

Chew also contributes to receding gum lines, which I'm all for, considering I've been waiting to buy this pack of Hubba Bubba for the better part of an hour.

OK, I guess I'll just come right out and explain the joke, since you're pretending to have the reading comprehension and critical reasoning faculties of a fish stick.

This is an unfair portrayal of Kaylee G, Barry. You cut out her response:

"But you really shouldn't. Also, you have legs you could use you know."

Guy in Brazil Jersey: I'm telling you, I'm paralyzed! I have no feeling in my legs. I will never walk again!

Okay, listen. If you have even any feeling left down there, and the police probed you, you'd be fucking jumping out of your wheelchair too.

At least they won't feel the probe.

Sometimes they play football.

[watches clip]