Himself

They’ll be billed as .50 cal, but will actually be .22.

Exactly, he failed at just about everything ’Muricans love. Shit, he just needs to fail at selling us guns to be complete. Trump brand guns, coming soon to a Wal-Mart near you.

That cop stopped you from dying of dysentery, he saved your life!

Good catch! I’d expect a empire insignia instead.

Watch, Trump will pardon him and make him head of the FDA. I say this cause having a punchable face is almost a requirement for being a Trump nominee.

Tucker Carlson would see a vagina and just do that trademarked baffled dog look of his.

Meanwhile, Stephen Miller is muttering about someone stealing his stapler and burning the place down.

“ In god we trust” is not the national motto, that’s “e pluribis unum”.In god we trust” only started appearing on paper money in the 1950's, I believe due to fight communism(It did appear on coins before that). Same as added the “under god” to the pledge of allegiance.

Not quite as good but it will do.

Somewhere, Jack Thompson is dusting off his anti video games material...

Homer Simpson : 2020!

Mr. Eiding, do it as Septimus Signus, please.

Maybe if Jews stopped comparing Christianity to New Coke, Christians would like them more.

Dow Jones down over 1000 points today. Curse that Obama!!!

I swear, when I find the time traveler who did this, I’m going to punch their grandfathers in the balls so hard...

I think the salami and cheese was a reference to Dave Neihaus’ radio announcing for the Marniers. The style of the whole thing reminded me of that.

Poppyseed dressing on a Caesar salad? Next thing you know these weasels will be putting ranch on a Rueben sandwich.

Hey! That squirrel is just checking the wiring, it has a tiny work order in its truck.

Ikea is into some freaky shit.*