They should serve that sauce sauce at The La Brea Tar Pits; i.e., The The Tar Tar Pits.

If your first scenario were to be true, then in my brainz Joe Pesci would come back later that night and beat Guy Fieri to death with a baseball bat, and on the soundtrack would be Dean Martin singing "Arrivaderci Roma."

Yelp is Evil.

I know an owner/manager who's the nicest, kindest, most generous guy in the world — but he doesn't take any shit from anyone, especially customers who are abusive to his staff. I've seen him give this kind of response to asshole customers: "You want your meal comped? Get the fuck out of my restaurant and never come…

Glurg. I figured something like that was going to be the story, but I'm still sorry I asked. Actually it did come through, but for some reason my version of the page wasn't showing it. Thanks.

And Waze pronounces the city in which I live as "Los An-je-LESS." Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot?

I grew up in New Orleans and until I was an adult only ever had instant grits made with water (which are pretty awful). As a kid I expressed a preference for hash browns over grits; my Mobile-born grandmother looked at me with scorn and spat the words, "That's Yankee!"

When I grew up I discovered stone-ground grits,…

YES. Pit dug below window. Trap door. weight-triggered. Alligators at the bottom. Or if you can't get alligators, maybe punji stakes.

It's no more an offense than the way that Irish whiskey is so often consumed in Ireland — mixed with fizzy red lemonade (although I think Paddy is generally the whiskey of choice in that combo; "Paddy and red" was the typical order). Jameson is nicer than Paddy but still not super expensive. Now, using the 12- or…

Does that include asking for "brush-SHET-ta" when you want "broo-SKET-ta?" I think it does, but people have argued with me on this. If it's okay to say brush-SHET-ta then it's also okay to say la-SAG-nee and SPAG-uh-tee and LING-wine.

It's actually spelled "Nahuatl." I am That Even Worse Person, Who Should Be Beaten With Nerf Bats and Banished to a Dessert Island. (At least I get to have desserts in my exile.)

*facepalm*
<digression> My GPS pronounces the abbreviation "Ave" as "AH-vay," as in "Ave Maria." It also renders "23rd St." as "Two-Third Street." Still a few bugs in the system.</digression>

That is an acceptable pronunciation in American English, so you're good. No need to be embarrassed.

I beg to differ. Both are acceptable pronunciations, and for American English Messrs. Merriam and Webster list it as the first pronunciation:

I need to know about the fajita-mayonnaise couple too. C'mon, now you've got us all curious.

I don't order a whiskey sour at a place that uses bottled sour mix — he might as well be using Lemon Pledge. Whiskey, lemon juice, simple syrup. It's a delicious drink, not rocket science, and I like mine with nice cheap Old Grand-Dad.

We weren't poor either, but mashed potatoes came out of the Potato Buds box and green beans (and most other vegetables) came out of cans and were cooked to mush. I was an adult before I tasted a fresh crisp green bean, steamed with a little olive oil, and it was almost like candy.

What Gawker Media also need to add to the commenting system (and you may have this in progress): when you click the little down-arrow at the upper right hand corner of the comment, you get an option that says "Follow username." There should be a "Block username" option under that.

The best time to buy a car is any time I buy a car through USAA's Car Buying Service so that I never have to speak to another car salesman again for the rest of my life.

I'm hoping that iOS 8 provides for this sort of thing without jailbreaking. For instance, being able to change the stark white backgrounds to black or grey backgrounds with white text, or being able to change the horrid look of iMessage to a pastel blue with black text, as it was on iOSes 1-6 and was actually legible…