The shocker is that indignant, pearl-clutching white people on the Internet are on the war path to lynch a big, scary black teenager.

2fast2soon

While Mayor Gray declined to build a ballpark roof for the Nationals, he did offer to drive Lerner over to Home Depot to pick up some tarps.

In fairness, brain-damaged miscreants wandering around and begging for loose change is kind of the norm in New Orleans.

"Next, throw on a sturdy pair of cargo shorts..."

Ah, "haters" - the "jorts" of dismissive vernacular.

Seems like they pretty much nailed the whole NLCS - the Cardinals struck out a bunch of choking hazards.

Thanks for that funny-ass video and for letting us know that, as a self-identified duck, the 10-second clip mimics your highly-nuanced thoughts on dissenting opinions! Short clips from popular TV shows are a great way to express otherwise hacky, cliche replies!

FYI: Reddit is that way ☞ http://lereddit.com/

Sheboygan is in New York? Is that what they taught you?

Ah, so THAT'S why Dodger Stadium is half-empty at first pitch.

Good God, what a swing-and-a-miss.

Nothing has ever not happened as much as this didn't happen.

True to its namesake, the piñata was already smashed when it showed up.

I don't know if there exists a more depressing mental image than a bunch of 30+ minivan owners getting together to sneak in an evening of drinking games. Drinking games are kind of bullshit when you're in college, but at least they serve a purpose and play to undeveloped palates and blunted social skills. But a bunch…

the offense couldn't stay on the field for more then five minutes (Even with the 4th best QB in the league!)

"You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half"

I'd use the analogy of "What if the Yankees/Red Sox/Any other team hung their respective banners all over Camden Yards?", but I can only assume they already do that given the makeup of a typical Orioles "home" game.

I know right? Who would've thought "accessory-to-murder-turned-evangelical-charlatan" might provoke some boos from the peanut gallery?

They did it at a "fashion show" at a Scottsdale mall, because Arizona.

I'm pretty sure he meant "Snake Plissken" from the movie Escape From New York, unless he was trying to draw a parallel between watching the Lions do nothing for 3 hours and doing nothing while watching shitty, hackneyed dialog scroll for 3 hours in the Metal Gear Solid series.