Does Sting have to subtract all the vaginas that have permanently clamped shut due to his solo music?

I HAVE ALSO RECEIVED A MESSAGE FROM FAT TIT LOVER. Here was our exchange roughly:

What about lutes? I play a bard in Dungeons and Dragons and I'm a huge hit with the ladies.

Mmmmm.....dog pork.....

"Are you out of the greys on Jezebel? Because if you're not, I would find that quite crippling. I cannot be seen with a grey."

"..and make sure you've at least answered, at LEAST a few hundred questions on this site. Otherwise our match percentage is likely inaccurate. If I have time to answer thousands, you have time to answer a few hundred."

"how many vaginas have you touched?"

OK I know it looks like she really overthought this, but actually she didn't think it through. Asking how many vaginas I've touched, but not being specific. With my fingers? My mouth? My genitals? My songs?

"Visible Ass Crack Festival" just makes me think of home.

Fondly,
a native West Virginian

Two words. Sleep suit. Thank you, Barney Stinson.

Fist to my chest, "We who are about to fly salute you!"

Follow them to the airport lounge because they clearly know which one has the best party.

There are fewer things that irk me in the same way as watching someone finagle with taking their heels off while we are waiting not-real-patiently in the security line. 1/4 of me is like, do your thing girl, and the rest of me is all:

mmm SPF

When I was in high school, I worked at a fast food joint where all the food sounds like it's from Scotland. I was the grill master, so I could usually get away with some shenanigans.

I am reading these to Mr. PDB and he's dying laughing, we're both dying laughing, it's a big dying laughing fest around here.

Pretty bad. If you're drunk enough to try mixing the two wines, but not drunk enough to enjoy the result, then you know it's bad.

My ex worked in a breakfast diner for years, and the orders that would show up were very, very creative. "Rare steak, no blood", "Breakfast bagel, no bread (so... eggs and bacon?)", someone who claimed a gluten allergy and wanted her burger served with a flour wrap, etc. The best part is when I'd go to visit him and I…

The customer who walked in with three kids, sat at a table and asked one of my servers, "Do you guys have nachos?" (I'd like to point out that he would have walked directly by the sign on the front of the building that read "authentic Italian thin-crust pizza") The server informed him that we did not, but we did have…

Finally, she slowly muttered: "fat-free means no fat.