I love him on obscene levels.

I am a Birkenstock convert. I'm going to wear mine until my toes get frost bitten. Then I will begrudgingly switch to boots.

Anyone else's mind go here when they saw the headline?

I expected some of it, but a girl pretending to have an orgasm on her brother's lap isn't surprising to you?

I've done it to prevent others from making the same mistakes I have. I don't like people getting hurt.

all the stars for you!

Yeah but Isha when Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down the pirates don’t eat the tourists.

Me too. Shit, I'd be chanting it like a pain mantra.

I would have. Just saying.

my sister used to work at this ride. She told me that a woman dropped her wallet over the side of the boat and when she reached for it my sister basically screamed not to because the water is full of gears. The screaming alone is a big Disney no no because it ruins the magic. The woman then asked my sister to retrieve…

No. Legos. I have two sons. I promise you, NOTHING hurts more than stepping on Legos, and I can feel her pain from here.

Trust me when I tell you that it IS "hammer his Legos" — she has undoubtedly stepped barefoot on a few. My older son, age 9, probably secretly feels the same way about his Lego-obsessed little (age 7) bro's collection. Or... not so secretly. They shared a room until about 2 months ago, and when little bro moved into…

I like that she still wants to fit in "dye his carpet pink" between all that evil.

Well, at least she has a plan.

my thing is, if god 1st thing you thank after when accepting an Award don't sing about hoes, rape and murder

Mark, I just want to say it's mean the way everyone is trolling you now in the Comments.
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Because I'm freaking terrified.

Reminds me of the Doctor Who episode, "The Library"

Fuck! At 3:25 on a HOT California afternoon, this pic scares the ever living shit outta me.

That's what I was afraid of. It doesn't help that I just finished watching the Amityville Horror documentary on Netflix. Brb, gotta go make sure there's not random piles of rocks in my yard.