A: As noted elsewhere, HitchBOT was a literal pile of trash that got what he deserved.
B: Dumpster pools are surprisingly resourceful, and THE PHILLYEST THING aside from the time my buddy found a live monkey in his back yard.
C: I G G L E S IGGLES!!!!!
D: All that said, most Philly fans are terrible. But so are fans of…

A: Jesus god.

You see, as long as he doesn’t become black and kneel during the anthem, there’ll always be a place for him in today’s NFL...

Diana, I just gotta say, again, thank you for all that you do here. I can’t imagine how it must be to live inside the stories you write, but they are essential and I’m grateful for you for writing them.

Agreed. I moved away from Philly a couple years ago and now everyone looks at me like I’m crazy. I’M NOT CRAZY JUST HAND ME THAT JAWN THERE NEXT TO THE OTHER JAWN. Jeez. Is it so hard?

Today in Philly-speak:

Kneeling, actually, but I see your point.

Serious question: do we think that he actually knows that the Affordable Care Act and Obamacare are the same thing? Like, if you asked him which one he preferred, would he know? I suspect he wouldn’t.

COME ON, MAN: Are You Joeing To Scarborough Faire.

Oh, I couldn’t pronounce it with a gun to my head. But I can SPELL it.

That’s true, but bad pronunciation doesn’t work so well in text.

They wanted Obama to sign off, but HE wouldn’t cooperate, is what I’m reading. He felt there wasn’t enough intel. Which, funny: is what the military is saying now.

Shots fired. Damn, that’s exquisite.

Except then all the slutty sluts will have more sex, so let’s make sure we don’t give that vaccine to anyone, even though it will literally save lives!

No, he represents THE WHOLE country, including the vastly more people who didn’t vote for him as well as tiny percentage who did. Over 60% of Americans don’t approve of him already, and the things he wants to do are all pretty equally unpopular. If he wanted to take this seriously, he would actually behave in a manner…

Dear All Women: I’m sorry for...most of the men.

Can we start a movement to rebrand “pro-life” as “anti-woman”?

You mean, like, regulating food and drugs so that they don’t literally kill the people who eat/take them, or the environmental impact of manufacturing so that people can breathe and drink water, or paying for teachers so that kids have a prayer of learning enough to better themselves?

Helping the poor ain’t all food…

No, but a Republican president with a Republican senate can put judges on the Supreme Court, and THEY can rule on anything that comes their way.

Just wanted to say that you’re a goddam treasure. Keep at it!