"An inexplicable, shady Baltimore-area crime where everyone seems to be lying and nothing makes sense?"

+1,000,000.

There are dickish pedestrians. There are dickish drivers (whose dickishness could kill you). Dickish cyclists exist, but I'd argue they're far, far in the minority when you look at all cyclists.

That's an admirable 18th-century view you have. The Mara family will be glad to know you're looking out for their interests.

And I offer you Scottie Pippen dunking a sandwich.

The point is not that it's nothing — the point is that the players' playoff wages are absurdly low when compared to how much the owners/NFL are making per nanosecond via TV revenue.

I had high hopes (well, medium-high hopes) for Brock Vereen. But either he got completely poisoned by Mel Tucker's incompetence, which is a distinct possibility, or he just completely sucked. I don't have a lot of faith that they'll nail this coach/GM hire — Pace seems like a possibility, but I think there's no way…

As a Bears fan, it saddened me to write it.

"Man, I love that defensive guy's technique!"

Wow, that lower pic looks like a helluva party. Which Portishead tune was playing when it was taken?

Just give this and I'm good.

Agreed. I guess I'm just old, but this sounds absolutely awful to me.

...then he slunk back to his spot as third-best SG in the game.

I get it. That's good.

Ha — yeah, it is. Sorry, that was pretty obvious to throw that out there. I was just a little disappointed that it just went out and then kind of died. I don't know what would have been better — I guess Brad Pitt optioning it and offering to play Schenker in the movie.

I think something is wrong with your keyboard — it deleted your mention of this story:

Yes it does!

No, that's not the one I was referring to — his role plays a key part in another apocalyptic flick. I won't say what it is, because it's a key part of the ending. But you can find it here.