This article fails to mention that getting rained on and being forced to sleep in a conference room/gym/on the floor of a Walmart is an integral part of the Girl Scout experience. Builds character.

Good for you. Seriously. One boob-haver to another.

I met one of Whitey’s... let’s say, buddies, when I was in college in Boston. I still don’t understand why they let the guy talk to my class full of impressionable 19 year olds, he was a fucking sociopath. It was a very unsettling experience, listening to my classmates ask excited questions about theft and murder...

Way to lower the discourse in an article about Texas. You should feel good.

I was thinking an infection of the mouth, but these are good ideas.

It’s a quote from an interview about her sister’s race. It’s probably not the first thing she said when she entered the room, it was in response to something the interviewer said. She also didn’t choose which part of her comments to use first.

Oh Martha.

Holy crap... I’ve never seen a single minute of this show, but you may have convinced me to watch every. season. Truly, you are doing the lord’s work.

It’s a thing! The brain says “girl no” but the vagina says “doitdoitdoit.”

See, I manage to give to worthy causes AND I’ve never tied up and beaten my significant other. Why does Penn get “some type of pass” for only managing one of the two? He may contain multitudes or whatever, but he’s got a shitty, woman-beating misogynist in there somewhere, and all the charity work in the world doesn’t…

Maybe find out why you’re such a shitty person to people you don’t know on the internet.

Not eating them would just be wasteful. I care about the environment.

The other day I noticed a bunch of Oreo crumbs had accumulated in my collarbones while I was eating in bed laying down. Sexy y/n?

I literally only know who he is because he’s such a dick on Twitter.

My first thought was “insulin” and my second thought was “what is wrong with me?”

This is priceless. I love your dad.

Aw, I think he’s adorable. You can tell he’s a good man, it’s in his eyes.

Those are some attractive humans.

Me too, and I’m fine with WHATEVER that says about me.

Except that she has a badass job and no kids, so she shares nothing in common with the imaginary woman you described... except being an ambitious woman.