One day, I’m going to spout off about what “like a princess” really means....and then I will have no FB friends, either.

He was crucial to my sexual awakening in ways I’m still sorting out 15 years later.

It’s the lesser of two wildly unfair outcomes. I’d rather they each get a small mountain of money so that Fox’s giant mountain of money is slightly smaller... but at the same time, nobody needs a fucking mountain of money to begin with JFC

How does it feel to spew misinformation in the name of your ideology?Does it make you feel powerful or something? You’re not even sort of maybe correct, you’re just lying.

Well, I was on the other side until you told someone to “go take a fucking Xanax.” Now you seem reasonable.

I’m not sure what there is in criticizing someone else’s anecdotal evidence, if you’re just going to sarcastically state your own opinion, with no evidence whatsoever.

Lol I didn’t know there was an age limit, mom.

She’s comfortable spending it and having it, doesn’t mean she’s comfortable asking for it.

Yep. Hitting the gym every day becomes significantly less impressive when that’s all you have to do all fucking day.

I’m sorry, but what was the IMPORTANT thing about Serena Williams getting her phone stolen?

It’s kind of precious. Like when my cat knows I’m sad and brings me his favorite toy.

Aww, you hurt my little girl feelings. You sad little man.

You’re the one making an absurd argument, for seemingly no reason other than to deflect from the underlying issue other people want to discuss. Why don’t you admit that you waded in here with no understanding of what a PTA is/does? To say that it’s not under the school’s control is just flat out incorrect

What is it with idiots and their “women and” comments. It’s like they don’t realize that half the world’s population is female, and as such, making generalizations about them as a group is generally an insulting, condescending waste of time that doesn’t make anyone involved look or feel smart. It’s like thoughtful…

I love how in one sentence, you’ve demonstrated your total lack of understanding not only of reality, but of how data is effectively gathered to make the type of determination you just casually made. You’re never going to be cave material, buddy.

Where did you get that picture of my bachelorette party?

That’s when he went from “lol maybe” to solid “Would Bang” territory. For me, anyway.

Unless one of you has hardcore shitty friends still hanging around from childhood. In which case, if they hate you, you’re doing something right.

Almost any type of fat or seasoning would help this literal hot mess.

This is simultaneously why I fucking LOVE Twitter, and why I will NEVER have an account.