A micropenis may be “fully functional” but certainly has a diminished chance of fathering a child, even assuming it’s not mistaken for a shriveled up cheeto found in the couch cushions of your local fraternity.

How on earth did you leave, “you people” off this list?!

Considering it was an easter episode perhaps peep-hole was an easter egg for oral sex, since that’s where you stuff your peeps?

What the hell is it about lacrosse, specifically, that produces or attracts people like this?

There were some interesting conceits I’ll grant you but this brain was a horror show for me. It was completely overdone, didn’t fit canonically with the effects of pretty much any other brain, and the “mystery” was pathetic.

You left out the one about, “It’s ok if I say it—I’m part black.”

I’m really not sure if it’s cliche or dad-wish-fulfillment but THE worst breakup absolutely belongs to Black Lightning.

Thank you for saving me from having to google that. There’s not enough eye-bleach in the world if I’d hit that on a google image search.

This plan did not work out at all well for Zimbabwe. What will make it work better in South Africa?

It would’ve been nice to get a shout-out to the role of “covenant mortgages” in concentrating black communities into the least desirable areas.

Who knew that finding masterful incompetence would turn out to be this administration’s core competency?

But who gave the President the idea to completely distract from Tillerson and the other chaos with the brain-wrenching quote of

Didn’t the supreme court take a case back in the early 60s that allowed the military to claim national security on basically anything they wanted to stop the information? And that it finally came out decades later they weren’t trying to set the original precedent for a security-state but trying to cover up the deaths…

As soon as I saw the words “guaranteed 84$ million contract” there’s this taste like leftover lutefisk at the back of my throat that isn’t going away for 3 years.

Is there any word on how much the Cards are going to pay for earplugs for their fans? They wouldn’t want anyone going deaf from the 200 decibel sound of Bradford’s knee bones grinding mercilessly against each other with each step he falls back in the pocket.

I’m a Vikings fan too. As soon as I saw the words “fully guaranteed contract” I knew we were irretrievably fucked.

On the same day as the sudden firing of the Secretary of State, a man who reliable sources claim called Sweet Potato Saddam a “fucking moron” that same moron somehow STILL managed to say something fucking moronic enough to take half the news cycle:

Battle of Mogadishu really put the kibosh on that tactic as far as the real world goes. If they implemented the ability to do that, it would presumably have the same problems with time lag between orders, transmission times, pointless extra levels of C&C, and “fog of command” from that level.

I wonder if there’s any reasonable way they could implement some of those electronic warfare features to allow for real life tactics like spoofing IFF. Something like the Spy back in original Team Fortress Classic, perhaps.

School choice is the only kind of choice they believe in for women.