His Command of This One Unexpected Word* Will Blow Your Mind!

Well this is delightful. I hope the next time Yelp contacts them they just respond with a picture of someones butt.

I'm guessing this wasn't just a date but possibly a threesome, a threesome with a little lady named meth. Lots of meth.

Holy elk farts. I'd almost convinced myself that I'd hallucinated this product.

Ooh ooh ME ME ME! Though truth be told, it is a rare occurrence and happened more back when we first started dating. Honestly, when we orgasm together, it is so difficult to keep up the momentum on each other bc we are simultaneously losing our minds. Instead of compounding the experience, it feels more like chasing…

Finally, the first legitimate chance that Pissing Contest could win Pissing Contest.

We managed it one time as a sheer fluke, but the orgasms themselves weren't so fabulously outrageous as to make it a goal type thing.

I used to be a manager at a Jimmy John's in a college town (I made this burner to comment on that JJ wage theft article and apparently never logged out of it, oops). One Saturday night, the entire staff was treated with the experience of watching an intoxicated young gentleman gleefully eat his entire sandwich, the…

I would have a divorce-themed wedding where the cake has the two tiny figurines glaring at each other with their arms crossed, and the DJ only plays break-up songs. I'm superstitious and I think a divorce-themed wedding would ward off the Evil Eye.

Okay, awkward turtle reminded me of my favorite one.

It was 2007, I was newly 21, and it was my first time out of the country. A friend and I went to Honduras for a World Vision volunteer thing and stayed with this super wonderful but super Christian family. No alcohol for five weeks, they never let us out of their…

I come from a tiny town. A village, really, in the mountains. I mean, there were 500 people in my town. So, college was eye-opening enough; but after college I decided to open my mind even more and backpack around Europe with a friend for a couple of months. No agendas. Just a free, untethered, mountain goat.

My friends and I were about to fly from Vietnam to Thailand to stay at another friend's Bangkok flat while she was visiting her parents. We got her a nice present for letting us crash, but then we also found THE MOST HELLISH PRESENT IN THE WORLD. It was a ball of multicoloured fake fur around the size of a basketball,…

Apologies in advance for the length, but I went on a month-long trip with the Worst Woman In The World, and it takes some time to relate. The trip in question an around-the-world backpacking extravaganza with some grad school friends to celebrate our graduation before settling down to real life. Three of the women…

This isn't insane, but still one of my fondest travel memories.

My sister and I did something very similar in Hawaii back in 2002, when she was 13 and I was 18. There was no language barrier, though.

When I was a junior in college, I studied abroad in China. I had taken Mandarin for two years before arriving, but had never used it outside of a classroom setting, so when I first arrived I felt very self-conscious about speaking to Chinese people.

By the time I was 6, I had two little sisters. We went on our first family vacation that year, and (now that I know what kind of hell it is to share a hotel room with children) my parents weren't exactly relaxing. By the end of the trip, their plan was to load up the car while we were all still asleep (when you're…