From her website:

As a man I say "no" to this. I don't want anyone cutting and slicing on my perfectly healthy dick. Ask yourself "what can go wrong?" and all kinds of nightmare fuel ignites.

Big ones are over-rated. My ex was Secretariat but his foreplay, during-play, and everything-play just sucked because he figured all he had to do was show up.

The absolute best sexual partner is one who monomaniacally obsesses endlessly about their own genitalia. It isn't funny to joke about body dysmorphia necessarily, but oh god I think that the eruption of furious tears that would begin if you said, "Eh, I've seen bigger," to him would be the most hilarious fucking thing…

okay, first... I flippin' love au jus. Despite the fact that just calling it "au jus" by itself translates poorly/makes no sense and would give my culinary teachers an aneurysm; It's salty perfection and I could easily drink it in public if it were socially acceptable.

Jezebel Basic

I have a mix of cheap one and expensive ones because I'm a sucker for things on sale. No more. Though somehow I made it to 31 without previously damaging myself like this. Ramsy snow would be proud of what I did to my poor ankle.

Right there with ya. Some of the delicacies I was offered in English pubs made me think "Um, we have refrigeration now, we don't have to pretend to like rotted stuff."

You're not the first person to ask. I might need to find a way to do this in the future.

I was with you up until the last part. Summer can die in a fire. I fucking hate hot temperatures more than I have words to express — at least in the heart of darkest winter, nobody's trying to make you go outside because it's allegedly fucking "fun."

If they didn't want me to rip apart their identity, maybe they should've gotten an identity that wasn't a factory of horrors.

Even better - match cheeses with soups and bread. Then whenever someone calls you out for eating a shit ton of bread and cheese with your 'healthy' meal turn to them and say, as snootily as possible, "Excuse me, but this cheese enhances the myriad complex flavors in the soup and I cannot enjoy one without the other."

As a 29 year-old, white female, I do not understand my peers obsessions with pumpkin spice EVERYTHING. Seriously. It can fuck right off. So not exciting. Also, I yelled at a woman in Target last year who tried to tell me that pumpkin spice was an actual spice, made from pumpkin. IT'S JUST CINNAMON, NUTMEG, AND…

I'm going to need more of that conversation between cities, please and thank you.

SOUP IS SO A MEAL! How the else am I supposed to get away with eating a whole loaf of bread?

I don't understand the fact that everyone sounds like they're on their way to a pirate convention all the time. "How long until you have to go to work?" "About three ARRRRs."

I can live with being "consistently funny but consistently wrong."

My very southern mom makes an amazing vegetable stew.....then dumps a brisket in it. Maybe you need to take a trip down here to Texas.

The frogurt is also cursed.