I'm 19 and working for these super straight-laced Midwest kids. They jog for fun. He thinks Wilco is edgy. She is basically a corn husk that became sentient and started shopping at J. Crew. Their dog, a big English lab named Jeep, would look at me from time to time with eyes that said, "I'd rather be guarding a meth…

So my best friend had a wedding. I was the "matron of honor", which is just as sexy as it sounds. All of my friends, everyone in and around this wedding, is a pothead. My husband, bless his dear Canadian heart, decided it was his duty to bring All The Drugs. You know, in case the other 50 or so people forgot theirs.…

File this under I Swear This Happened Even Though I Was Really High. My best friend was there and she can collaborate my story. High school - in those dewy "first times getting high" months. We had decided to pop into the Burger King, as you do. I remember sitting at a booth with a good view of the parking lot…

I know you're not a lawyer C.A. So i'll understand your ignorance at the importantence of the "Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers" precedent establish by the Supreme Court in the hotly contested case of Rubber v Glue.

surely the best gif ever.

My now husband and me first date. Without a doubt. Let me set the scene.

Oh, boy. Um. This isn't about me. This is about someone I was (and still am) with.

I'm not entirely sure that fairy tales can be successfully "updated" for a progressive modern world, because there are HUGE regressive assumptions built right into the storylines—men possessing women, vanquishing spiteful old hags, winning women as prizes, etc. If you want to tell an ethically sound, "modern" story,…

Right! I google-cheat occasionally when I can't remember certain features on a given bone (greater sciatic notch anyone?) but it is sad that they can't even fact check the basic shit. Understandably though if they did follow the facts, they wouldn't be able to get very far story-wise — there really is only so much…

my favorite restaurant name is real. I've never eaten there, but seen it many times on the PA Turnpike: Park 'n' Eat. Pure genius. My sister and I had a list of spinoffs, like Stop 'n' Devour, Brake 'n' Barf, etc.

My mom was called to the school because they needed to explain the dress code to her. Apparently summer dresses and/sleeveless shirts were not allowed because "the boys might pull on them and expose the chest". I was in the first grade. My mother, the sweetest woman ever pulled herself to her full height (4'9") and…

When people have points of reference that are humanizing, that demystifies difference.

Guys, I am having a horrible feminist week. I am getting so tired and so angry about this constant bullshit. We can't even fucking EXIST. Everything we do is wrong, and tempting, and nagging, and slutty, and prudish, and hysterical, and sinful, and too fat, and not sexy enough, and too sexy, and "ok for a girl", or…

Every time I see a photograph of Ms. Cox, all I can think is that the only explanation for this goddess having been born into a male body is because she was using it as a chrysalis.

Serious question… Do you think that the Top 10 List from David Letterman, below, is related at the mild end of this same spectrum? These attitudes and jokes are of course pervasive in American culture. My Dad sent me this email string. It made me so sad and we are currently having an email standoff about it and…

Thanks for this, Madeline.