He flies under the radar because he looks like a racist ghost who died during plastic surgery.

They should move it to January 20th 2017. Not like he won’t be free that day.

“Trumpery” sounds like a word George W. Bush would make up to describe Donald’s behavior.

Mississippi continually ranks in the worst 3 in terms of education, health, obesity, happiness index, and wages, and taxes paid vs. federal aid consumed. They seem to piss away tens of millions of dollars a year with laws they know will be overturned fighting gay marriage, gay peoples’ rights to use restaurants,…

She fucking killed that debate and I am drunk and a nasty woman and also i love bad hombres and fuck him and i ate a burrito and several cookies and maybe like a whole bottle of whine or wine or shit or omg i need to go to bed even on the west coast i am a mess omg i hate trump o hope he dies ifn a fire

Alright, I have two weakass Ivanka Trump anecdotes:

There’s one in every family. If your family doesn’t have one, it’s you.

This is kinda like that time my ex brought my ex best friend that he fucked while we were married as his date to a wedding where we were both mutual guests. But worse?

Person on top needs seems to have trouble Nazi-ing correctly. 3/10 do not Nazi again.

Quick, someone dial 01189998819991197253!

You’re right, that makes all the difference. I think a Hillary Clinton presidency with a democratic senate could be wonderfully productive. I am excited for the possibility of Sanders and Warren holding her feet to the fire from the left.

I take this extremely seriously and I feel so heartbroken for this reporter.

Ugh, he’s so fucking tacky. He thinks anything that costs a lot of money is automatically classy and automatically brings him prestige. He’s like the Dubai of people.

No, the worst part of it is that they’re trying to incite violence against African-Americans and Latinos saying it will be their cheating that will cause Donald to lose.

Can it be 6 pm now?

The part where she boasts about grabbing guys by the taint is going to be problematic.

I don’t even care about this. The presidential candidate for one of our major political parties is on tape joking about sexually harassing/assaulting women. Like, who honestly gives a shit about this?

The only way to win at twitter is not to play in the first place.

You can use it to fall asleep tonight. Totally boring, some of it I would have put on my resume.

Trump: “Ore... Ida?”
Aide: No, sir. It’s “Ne-VA-da”.