J.K. Rowling put the Westboro Baptist Church on blast.

You can’t have male judges for something like that. They can’t tell the difference between ten and six inches.

Tracy Morgan’s settlement with WalMart isn't for money; he just gets to take it behind the Junior High and get it pregnant.

When I taught, I got called into the office when a parent caught me buying beer and tampons at the grocery store.

Pinot noir, caviar.

is it mean of me if i can’t wait for her career to be over?

My sister in law is insane, but she is great in the kitchen, and she makes this white sangria recipe from the Silver Palate Cookbook, that is so, so good.

Sangria - bottle of merlot, two oranges, one lemon, 1/4 c sugar, and 1/4 c of triple sec. Slice 1 orange and lemon and put in pitcher with sugar. Muddle for 1 min or until sugar dissolves. Add wine, triple sec, and juice of other orange. Chill between two and 24 hrs.

::vomits into lap::

John Mayer, a freshman who would love for you to come back to his dorm room so that he can play you the guitar

In Touch is the most awkward name for a publication reporting molestation.

This is great news. I’ve been dying for more specific details about this relationship for years, and I will gladly pay money to hear more about it because I’m a nosy bitch.

My mom had a boyfriend in the ‘80’s who was obsessed with all things “Gucci”. And he was a lowlife deadbeat so we used to call him “Gooch the Mooch”. Come to think of it he was also kind of a taint.

YAY! Flipping Out!! I love the shit out of that show. I’m glad it’s coming back.

kinja would be a bad sahm. it eats way too much to maintain those rock hard abs.

Girl I am so excited about Chicago Med! That Chicago Fire season finale though...messed me up

I just reminded myself that this show existed the other day. And sighed a happy sigh.

I don’t recall Bright being particularly ripped. Not Dadboddish, but not Starlord ripped, either.

Jesus christ, when did Leo DiCaprio turn into Orson Welles’ douchebag nephew?

Yeah, I don’t care if it’s horrible. I would watch that cast act out the directions on a can of oven cleaner and be massively entertained.