Oh, please. Like all the unwillingly single women with mental illnesses - especially women over a certain age - have it soooooo much easier just because they're women. If that's what you genuinely believe then you have a massive willful blind spot.

*pops open a fresh can of worms*

From what I read in stories like this, a lot of guys seem much more concerned with getting "respect" from other guys for fucking a hot chick than with any aspect of their actual relationship with said hot chick.

This is so sadly true. You have no idea. You really don't. Most men don't behave anything like they do sitting across from you at a table chatting as they do when they're in a closed room with you. It's like flipping a switch, and you never know what you're going to get, no matter how sweet and responsible he acted in…

Hi. I was once in an abusive relationship, so I'd like to try to answer you You know the old frog in boiling water vs. simmering a frog analogy? Being in a relationship with an abuser is definitely like simmering a frog — you don't realize it as you slip more and more into danger that your friends are drifting away…

I'm sure a lot of people feel that way, and I'm not saying there's no validity to it in the short term. I think we just disagree on the importance of defining masculinity in general. It's the flip side of the coin of defining what "real women" do or what "real women" look like or what "real women" want; the stakes are…

But I am a man. Sticking up for myself has been engrained from the playground days.

she's not getting cold clocked in an elevator and dragged unconscious for money, you fucking idiot. She's staying because abuse is a fucked up powerful mind trip that gets harder and more dangerous to leave every day. What do you think Ray Rice would do to a woman who said "You can't have me anymore" to him?

Fuck you. Women aren't victims of abuse because they can't draw a fucking line. It's because abusive partners are manipulative pieces of shit that leave their victims isolated, financially dependent and blaming themselves for being beaten. (Oh hey, that last one sounds like you!) The most dangerous time in an abuse…

A lot of this would also stop if men stopped beating the shit out of their loved ones.

Right, I just don't see how it was the first time. Abuse doesn't typically start with two fists to the face. It starts slower; a push, an arm grab, then eventually a hit, then a long while before another hit. Plus, the way he so nonchalantly drags her out of the elevator and tries to just sit her up....those are not…

So I dated this guy all summer (we lived in the same town) and things fizzled a bit when we came back to our permanent town (we live about 4 blocks apart from each other here, too - lovely). In attempting to have a mature discussion about what happened/part ways amicably, it came out in (not as many words) that we…

I absolutely hear you. There is *nothing* wrong with wanting to share your life with someone else and with feeling frustrated with partnered ladies saying "be your own everything!" But *serious kudos* for eventually making your true feelings known in that last dude. It has taken me years in therapy/just years in…

So, you're saying men are natural rapists? Why are you so misandric?

I was dating a guy. Maybe not like getting married seriously, but we were definitely dating. We were also sleeping together. One night we were out drinking. He came over. We were having vaginal sex. Then he forced himself into my anus after repeated "No!"s. Several repeated forceful nos.

I am almost weeping reading this. Sometimes I am up to here with the "love yourself" rhetoric because Western culture is severely lacking in a dedication to community, but the advice in Polly's column is solid gold.

I am the opposite of what you say you are. I am exactly the person in this letter. Always kind, calm, drama-free, never rocking the boat, always trying to be rational and say exactly the "right" thing, instead of what I really mean. And you know what? At 37, not one man has EVER wanted to spend the rest of his life…

Yeah, well you really can't blame yourself for lessons learned in hindsight. There are a ton of disappointments in life, and a ton of mistakes that seemed like a good idea at the time. These are constants for everyone. Even people with lives you envy are mostly living with some kind of regret. What makes the…

Man, I'm sorry. I get cynical because I often see people who make that complaint projecting their own crappy dating choices on the opposite gender...but that's just bad luck. But I don't think 30s is too late, although the pool is a bit smaller. There are men out there who are in the same situation and just looking…

I've been through my share of shitty relationships. My last bf was a prince and the first man who never made me cry and treated me like gold. We broke up because we simply weren't going in the same direction and to this day I wish him well and think the world of him. I thought to myself, 'okay so it's not working with…