Conservatives love to wax poetic about the glory of the Constitution Bible, but what they love even more is to ignore the parts they don’t like and call it patriotism sincerely held beliefs.

“I feel so many emotions because I feel so upset that the tour’s not going ahead, but I also feel upset because my friend’s upset. The worst part is that it really can’t be helped and these feelings that Jeffree is feeling, I wish that I could just make them go away.”

Of course, it’s completely impossible that the server happened to notice the table was missing a salt shaker and dropped one off around the same time the letter writer was being passive-aggressive about an appetizer. I guess in this person’s world, it’s all a conspiracy and there’s absolutely no such thing as…

Speaking of “changing the ones he wants to,” today’s entry in the GOP’s Fuck The Constitution Sweepstakes is trying to change more Senate impeachment-related rules.

Giving marketing drones access to the English language without adult supervision is nearly always a mistake. Exhibit A: turnstyle.

Think Brown might be angling for a VP nod? Don’t know who he is, so I got no idea what his ambitiousness level might be.

Your dog does your taxes? Nice. My cat does his own taxes.

“Well, I have my suspicions. I don’t want to say that, because other people have those suspicions also… Somebody could’ve made a mistake on the other side,” Trump said about the Ukrainian plane, the Post reports. “Some people say it was mechanical. Personally, I don’t think that’s even a question,” Trump told…

This president knows less about how finance actually works than my cat does. My cat is pretty smart, though.

I wish y’all would stop using header images with that concept in it. Every time I see it I think, “Is this finally the announcement that it’s going into production?” And it never is.

You substitute wishful thinking for “facts” and “logic” and no amount of being proven dead wrong ever dissuades you from repeating the nonsense.

It’s a direct quote, and those usually involve copy and paste rather than transcription, so I’d come down on the “it’s in the original” side.

Thanks much for the synopsis and taking one for the team. No sarcasm.

The oldest GenX is around average-Corvette-buyer age. Mid-generation GenX “dream cars” are late 80s. Think GNX, not Initial D.

I look at his face as little as possible and I actively avoid listening to his voice. It, and he, is atavistically and viscerally repellent, as all evil is.

Neutral: The gas mileage thing is a myth. Please stop repeating it.

^ This. The average wind speed in a garage is approximately zero.

So he’s basically spending $10m of other people’s money to do a video version of a tweetstorm. I’m sure there’s cheaper ways of preaching to the converted.

On the other hand it’s sort of a benefit, because the kinds of people who do crap like this rarely have anything of actual value to say. In its way it’s an excellent filter and time-saver.