I have epilepsy and I made it about 1/2 way through and said, "Is this what we sound like with a partial focus seizure? I don't think there's an excuse for this".

OMG YES. YES HE IS.

To quote Tony Bourdain: "Guy Fieri is the Poochie of the Food Network"

Guy Fieri: A "Foodie" That Should Not Exist.

REAGANOMICS!

*bounces back up like a punch-me clown* TUBULAR!

RADICAL!

"RE #2" ...heh.

I read the phrase elimination communication and had a conscious uncoupling from my sanity.

RE #2 — I know an Elimination Communication (will never get old) mom, and I think it's hilarious that she believes her nanny is actually letting her kids crawl around bare-assed peeing all over the floors all day while she's at work. That lady is bringing diapers from home and doing a 5:15 garbage chute run or my…

Wait, he has branded tattooed knives?? UBERTROUT PINKHAM, ARE YOU READING THIS??

If you are one of those "classy" ladies who don't swallow. Go crawl into a hole with Ellen DeGeneres and learn to eat pussy, because that is what you are. Spitting is for quitters, you swallow that sweet 'n' salty mix like the real woman you are.

Agree.

I agree, this reminds me of the semi-comprehensible, profanity-laced facebook posts my Alabama frat boy cousin posts. I'm 80% sure this is a guy, but it is also possible that it's a woman parroting that style. I'm a lady who likes sex with a lot of slattern friends, and this is not how we would talk about sex.

Why do people run from geese though? Why not just punch it in the face?

LOLZ! *I* need to set an example for a total stranger who lives a million miles away from me? What year are you writing from, Stone Age? Pull your wizened head out of your needlessly atavistic ass and join the 21st century. Here's how life works today: If the school had a legitimate interest in requiring students to…

Oh, horseshit. It's 2014. Let kids wear what they want. The school doesn't even have a dress code for prom, so she's not breaking any rules. And that outfit is fucking chic.

I would totally go for Rogen, fyi. Not sure why his name's become pop culture shorthand for "generic unappealing white dude." I've had a little crush on him since Freaks and Geeks.