No way. Marine Todd doesn’t walk away. What really happened was he pulled out his red white and blue AR-15 and said “Not today, Bennett,” before emptying 500 rounds into the thug who at the time was praying to Allah for more 9/11’s.

Dear god, PLEASE just give us one of the three. Signed, the city of Philadelphia.

I think the next logical step is for her to get together with Sean Spicer and do a podcast about Neil Young and Dippin’ Dots.

For a more simplistic take, I’ve always said every Coen bros movie is about a poorly planned crime by comically inept individuals that progressively spirals out of control.

No, it’s not possible.

Nick Foles is 6’6”.

I don’t know what’s less surprising - that they don’t allow gay people, or that those were the two best-looking cover models they could find.

Motherfucker, don’t make me bust out a chart and embarrass your silly ass.

I didn’t know about that, but I saw her open for Louis CK and she was aggressively unfunny.

What the fuck are you talking about? Name ONE current senator or representative that has made a peep about repealing the 2nd amendment. Literally nobody within a stone’s throw of a position of power is calling for this. It’s a fucking straw man. Most Democratic congresspeople trot out the same feeble “background…

I’m so sick to fucking death of these cowards ignoring the elephant in the room and blaming every shooting on “mental illness.” EVERY country has mentally ill people. EVERY country has violent people. THIS is the only country that fucking arms them.

Oh, I have one!

Go fuck yourself, troll.

That’s what I’ve been saying all along. Even more than the strip sack, that long-ass drive won them that game.

ALL IS FORGIVEN! By the grace of god and the now-fading memory of Ronde ripping my heart out of my chest, all is forgiven!

But also the best.

Probably a salty Pats fan.

Holy shit...

I think part of it is that they don’t want to seem like a bad ally, and acknowledging any level of complexity in the situation can very easily be spun as victim-blaming. I think it’s a product of this sort of black-and-white, everyone-take-sides era we’re currently in. In this case, you’re either a bad guy Woody Allen…

I have what I consider to be a pretty solid system. If it’s a place whose primary function is takeout, like pizza or Chinese, then no. If it’s a place that is more of a sit-down restaurant but offers takeout (like a diner), tip 10%.