Zolpidem? Morphine? I guess I'm just a fan of the classics, like chloroform or a blackjack to the back of the head or The Collected Poems of Roger Goodell, Vol. II

Cough cough.

"Good job with the racing Roberto! Here is Swiss chocolate, to maybe give more energy next race! And here is Swiss watch, maybe you keep better pace you look at it next race! And here is Swiss cheese, holes symbolize holes in your technique you maybe fill before next race! And here is Swiss neutrality, look everybody…

+1

Well I can tell you for sure it's not from gold stolen by the Nazis. That's already been melted down by Obama to pay for 9/11.

How certain is the writer that Derek Jeter is dead?

While some people see this as a larger metaphor for the comeuppance Russia richly deserves for the numerous shortcomings of these Games - an unready city, poorly executed event facilities, unnecessary animal abuse, trampled human rights, unchecked corruption - I see it as a guy hilariously falling on his face.

BOOOOOOOOOO

♬ Rape meeeeeee....Rape me, my friend ♬
Mornin' gang, Father Mike here with a few announcements...

Oooh! A penny!

Nice try Tim, but this is clearly fake. The announcers didn't mention Mancuso or Vonn even once.

+1

Oh man. +1

Add all the poles you want, but that lightbulb still ain't getting screwed in.

Well Derek, you may be rich, famous and get to have sex with many beautiful women, but I'll always have this diorama I made of you being rich, famous and getting to have sex with many beautiful wom- OH WHAT THE HELL DEBBIE I SAID KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY STUFF

My experience went from being a very scared and somewhat shy gay person on the team to a very welcomed and loved teammate of many. Except for Randall's little brother Teddy, that little prick never picked me for Mario Kart.

So let me see... if there are 7.48 Jingos in a Mention, and 62.4 Mentions in a Cubic Cameo... 43,560 Shout Outs per Cameo... carry the five... yep, it adds up, Matt Lauer is still a smug-faced mattress fucker.

/dying

Terror at the Munich Olympics. Duh.

Well then.