Isn't it funny that none of these overweight, at-least-as-famous-as-Rebel-Wilson male actors never got asked to be the face of any diet companies?

Yeah I'm half Armenian and I grew up in a white family (I was adopted) and in a pretty white town, and I always thought there was something wrong with my strong chin and bold cheekbones because I thought I should look "softer" and have a rounder face. I was probably 18 before I realized I was idealizing white…

This isn't even at ALL because I'd pick coffee over sex as a general rule, but first thing in the morning? It's a rare occasion when I actually feel aroused upon waking up. I need at least an hour to have some breakfast and get my blood sugar back up, have some caffeine, stretch, wake up...THEN I will be interested…

I didn't realize it was possible to love her more.

Don't get me wrong...I'm drinking one as we speak, and my husband is three in. It's not bad at all for being so cheap, plus you can get drunk on like 10 bucks. But then, we get called hipsters all the time. So.

Tell me about it.

I did that with Matthew Lawrence (as in, Jack Hunter from Boy Meets World). I printed off two or three pages full of shitty, grainy pictures of him (including one from Jumping Ship, without his shirt) and I would stare at them every night before bed. Sometimes I would kiss them. I was a little creepy.

I'll change names, just in case, but the first time I became obsessively, life-alteringly consumed by someone happened with Tom. I was 20 years old. I was freshly divorced. Yes, I was young—and no, I had never been consumed with my husband. I was in love with him, but it was that sweet kind of love that is warm…

This was funny. She's funny.

I feel like Crown Royal applies to this man too.

And Miller is the SUPER LOYAL guy from Milwaukee, who insists that everything from there is amazing (clearly to a fault, because he is drinking Miller).

Don't forget cheap rum transported in an old Coke 2-liter. That's the guy who never stops talking. He also leaves his shit at your house and never comes back for it.

Okay, that actually made me feel a little better.

Pink.

"My heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest."

My husband is military, and THANK GOD our paychecks won't be delayed, but there are still a TON of other factors here, including our healthcare. And the veterans! This is so awful.

Ever seen this movie? All about how this woman uses a dog-training manual to train her husband.

Oh wait. I also bought a dirty magazine. *blush*

It's the names. Had me rolling.

Do they REALLY????