What race are strippers, my cloth-eared (and possibly racist) friend?

I'd say "stripper pop" covers it, so to speak, pretty well.

Is the joke that some people think that doofus is a doctor?

"Katy Perry dressed up as a clown and made children cry" is the most succinct review of Teenage Dream I've read. Thanks, Callie!

What Bizarro-world did I wake up to? Someone is stalking Goopy?

No.

Seriously. Why can't she simply crawl away and starve to death in peace? I haven't heard a song from her since she was thirteen, and I don't remember what that song was.

It's up to you to train the fellas to do the things you like.

236. Dennis Morrison - you are a MORON.

Honk! :)

This is why I've given up speaking to people I find attractive. Now, I just carry a horn. Oddly, I'm doing about as well as I was before. AHWOOOOOOOOGA!

Technically, of the people you listed, you only have to like James Brown.

Mrs. Charming Potato sure is pretty.

Why hate on boxing, a sport millions have participated in, a sport many people— black, white, and everything else— have found discipline and character through?

I don't give a shit if you're a fucking unicorn, lil' dick.

Because Steve-Dave still isn't as cool as Tyreseacondria?

It's all well and good to be a backwoods religious zealot until you do something your fellow backwoods religious zealots don't approve of.

1.2M? That's, like, a large chunk of her "Back-To-Basics Spring Wardrobe" money.