Ok, you know what? I can be down with parental rights. Presumably he'll get out after 9 years and he might want to get to know his kids or whatever. BUT WHY THE FUCK IS THIS NOT BEING DONE BY PROXY?! Isn't there a social work who can come collect recent photos and write an update on his kids to send to him rather than…

He probably will get some type of visitation rights. One of the major reasons I didn't get an order of protection during my divorce is that my ex still gets a right to be a dad. All I could see happen from OFP would be pissing him off to the point of no return and because of our kiddo - he would still have a right to…

This dude only got 9 years as punishment for trying to kill someone and he gets pics of her children? Oh hell no. Hell. No. This is terrifying. Is he going to get visitation after his release too? I think your parental rights kind of end at throat slitting.

That was the most square adventure ever. You're adorable!

I don't know if it's the biggest lie, but it's the most satisfactory and convincing one I ever told.

"Basically, it's a whole family of omitted truths and silent disgust. Like any good, middle class Southerners."

To my ex...."it's not small..." (reality...hung like a light switch....I now have standards lol)

my mom saw condoms and thought: OH MY GOD SHE MUST BE PREGNANT AND HAVE 20 STDS. once my mom yelled at me when I asked about condoms and said "DONT HAVE SEX I MEAN IT DAMMIT!" She thought that the absense of condoms meant teens werent having sex, rather than the possibility of them having unprotected sex. She really…

jesus, I don't understand parents who are honestly horrified when their 19 year old is sexually active. They should have just been glad you were using protection!

Lucky for me my older brother was the indiscreet one when he left for college. He made a big point to my parents that he didn't "have to" go to church anymore now that he was out of the house and so on. My mom cried to me about it. I just can't break her heart like that.

Perhaps if you'd put as much effort into learning about your new city as you did trying to ensure you wouldn't have to, you'd have found out the grad housing wasn't for you before asking someone to bend over backwards to get you into it.

I worked really hard to get a 4.0 GPA in college and math was my biggest weakness. I saved the one math class I had to take for my very last semester of school and spent all semester telling my teacher how I couldn't ruin my 4.0 and also kissing butt. I worked hard, did all my homework, saw a tutor multiple times and…

This is an ongoing lie. And I feel terrible about it.

When I was 13, my parents were on their way home from Vegas and wouldn't be back until after 4:00 AM. My brother, who was 17, knew he would be in trouble when they got home, because he had crashed my mom's car when they were gone. He decided to go out on his last night of freedom, and I stayed home. A couple of his…

I once got in trouble at school because I had used some French manicure white nail polish to paint my entire nails. Some other girls saw it and started doing the same thing with White-Out. Apparently this was my fault for being so irresistibly cool.

This falls more into the most absurd lie I've ever gotten away with. And because it would absolutely dox me should it be read by much of my family, anyone I went to college with as well as their family and friends, I've created a burner account for this tale.

"I don't remember anything about that night" soooo I couldn't possibly know if I cheated on you except I have chlamydia now so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My dad still believes that I graduated from college. (I turned 30 last week)

Mine isn't a lie as much as the omission of truth, but it was pretty major. Bit of background: my now ex fiance was living with me but things weren't going well. He had lied to me about a bunch of stuff before moving in, had no money or car and no job, and had been lying to me about applying different places to change…

I was in my early 20's and seriously lacking in the judgment department. I spent the night at a friend's party drinking beer and getting high. Around 4am, I decided that I wanted to go home, and that I was sober enough to drive my car home the 3/4 of a mile to my house on residential roads. When I was at the final…