I worked it out! It's Rachel Smith. She's some TV host and she was miss USA or something. A nobody, but a pretty dress!

And a much-needed antidote to the smugness of the Globes and Oscars.

Thank you. I've been concerned about this for some time. Jade Smith is the only person on the face of the earth I HOPE WILL GET BOTOX.

One of my friends came to see me yesterday. She has two toddlers and a newborn. Boy did she look tired and hassled!

"Maybe you have a girlfriend or spouse."

This is a really old campaign, too. I don't know why Lifehacker just discovered it. When I read the headline, I thought "oh, we're critiquing Dove's tactics again." But no, we're endorsing them.

Isaac Newton was a jerk.

MARRY ME. Wait, is that...am I making a bad decision?

Sure, the bunny has anger management issues. Is the bunny also invisible, sweetie? You can tell us. It's a safe place.

I can neither confirm nor deny that I sometimes put on a pair of Oxfords and try doing that in front of a full-length mirror.

I know. Calm down.

That dress does squish her chest like a cheap bathing suit.

They're always lacking. Hollywood can't do underpinnings, for some reason. Everyone else can.

Nobody's saying Kerry's not beautiful, just that her dress isn't beautiful enough for her. She usually knocks it out of the park.

Calm down. She kind of is hiding her bump anyway. But I'm sure shoegal is just referring to the aesthetics. It's not a very exciting dress.

Seriously? Christina Hendricks has chronic boob-wrangling issues. They're either lopsided or squished against her ribcage or both:

The Daily Mail calls this person Rocsi Diaz. It's not. She looks vaguely familiar, but I can't place her. Can anyone tell me who she is? It's going to drive me crazy.

The article calls it a romper, nut it's NOT A ROMPER! It's actually a really weird over-dress thing, with NAVY PANTS UNDERNEATH. It's worse than a romper.

Join uusssss....

Shut up. You do.