A story about "juiced balls" and MLB conspiracy and not a single Canseco mention? What universe is this?

But they at least VOTE for the females, right?

Bruce Willis should've been smarter as a baby in 12 Monkeys. Then he could've stopped repeating such a futile mission.

It's Mr. Ed. They used to be friends after meeting at the same school growing up. Sad stuff.

I wish I had been alive to see Randy Rhoads with Ozzy, and by extension that he had lived longer and put out more material. I know it’s widely believed that he was about to quit anyway but I’m going to go on the assumption that Sharon convinced (fucked?) him into staying.

As a Rockets fan I'm gonna go ahead and assume this is all a really convoluted plot to get Chris Paul back. Donald Sterling's involved somehow.

Next year he should only be allowed to bat. Against the Pirates. Without a helmet.

After review, the NFL suspended James Harrison for four games.

I think he got confused by the water pouring over Meza.

I’m just glad I’m not getting on an airplane, or attending a sporting event, or something else that's been ruined in the past 18 years. USA!

“Oh my goodness. He’s beautiful, and he’s so special and magical, but I was really taken by what an amazing actor he is!” Liv says. “He’s so present and so open.”

“Sneakers” is a fine film. If you’re going to get upset about something from 1992, why not “Home Alone 2: Lost In New York”? It’s a shameless rehash.

Oh, chil'...

No "Barry"? Come on. It seemed like the show couldn't possibly proceed in the same fashion after the finale of Season One, but they managed to pull it off.

Clarence Boddicker has struck again.

I don’t blame them. For letting the situation get to its endpoint, yeah, but he won’t be missed. A running back that had several injuries when he was young and in shape, that now makes a habit of spending his money on sugar when it’s not being commandered by loose women? Easily replaced.

Blah, blah, blah. We all know the real reason: he was too busy fightin' 'round the world.

Mike Tyson was raised by a single mother and got railroaded. I fail to see the diff...oh, right.

He's 16 years older than her, so yeah. He got a relatively late start on his wrestling career.

I'm glad this is out. Now I won't see the trailer in a theater for the 51st time.