The ball going into the basket was quite a process.

Stop jerking off at 50?  Hell, at this point, I actually prefer jerking off.

HAHAHAH good luck getting anything from Long’s on race day Sunday. It’s bad enough on a regular weekend.

I met Jesus at the 500 4 years ago. It’s hard to top that.

Didn’t even have to use my AK

just the type of answer that would earn a hearty interruption!

i dunno bougie people seem to enjoy interrupting to drop in their delightful little aperçus as much as anyone

It's not an exercise ball, it is a fitness orb.

I could’ve told you this months ago. Me and my 15 year old friends only use Snap Chat to talk.

If you jump too many times your bones become feathers and you go to jail. If you get put in jail for your bone feathers you can’t do a championship. Simple math.

Can i just say, as someone who follows Deadspin extensively, but not Jezebel, both groups did a great job today. I have been popping onto both blogs and found each of them are hilarious. Thanks to everyone for making today entertaining. I hope you all had as much fun today as i did.

Worst Place to Urinate Outside:

Nowhere near anyone who buys this.

I hate everything about tribal tattoos

Oh god. This is fantastic. Strong contender for Kinja of the Year on Jan 14.

Dear websites of the world: Quit with the podcasts. No one likes them. You’re not cool.

Not a surprise considering the 49ers already traded away/lost most of their good players. Less work for Chip.

Nobody’s perfect.