Don't hurt yourself.

I like you. I want to hate you. But dammit.

Cause of death is reported to be suffocation in a 1973 VW Beetle.

You meant reside.

Just embarrassing. I mean, this guy has the audacity to not only try to market his shitty plastic combs at a semi-sporting event, but he uses his own son as a an example of the kind of hair that needs said comb? Where have all the good parents gone?

It's ironic that someone so obviously butthurt would wish ass bruises on other people.

Hey Ace, got any more of that gum?

Sorry, no.

I understand Penn St removing the Paterno statue. But relocating it to an abandoned dump was a little harsh.

Yeah, so I'm gonna be saying there's levels to this, young boy a lot this weekend. I'm sure my golf group will just love it.

What is it about you that attracts the worst people on this site?

Will you be my dad?

I was in 9th grade in '93. Those guys were awesome, and Dutch was the leader.

And you thought Javon Belcher's performance as a Chief killed!

And you thought Javon Belcher's performance as a Chief killed!

If it really were a Law & Order, I would say that the fiance was definitely involved. The funny thing is that you know damn well that this will be an episode very soon.

In related news, ESPN has recalled several staffers who had been laid off recently. Apparently a bunch of money was freed up in the "Food/Beverage Fund."

Everyone relax. After a season in China I'm sure he's more than qualified to handle fireworks.

By season 3, the writers of "Life Goes On" had basically just gotten lazy.

It's actually noted in the section pertaining to rum ham socials.