Bitch.... Michelle O accomplished more in her life BEFORE she became first lady than you and your whole tornado bait trailer trash family have ever even read about. Double Ivy League Graduate. Lawyer. Hospital Administrator. Mother. Go getter. Accomplisher of many things, not the least of which is to be married to a…

credit where it’s due http://www.theroot.com/youre-welcome-white-people-alabamas-black-voters-just-1821242801

Fucking Trump. Not bad enough to make the people there suffer from his neglect but then he thinks it’s amusing to mock them, too.

I literally died.

I rarely watch tv but I love standup, and her Baby Cobra is hands down the best I’ve seen in at least 5 years. My husband and I were in stitches the entire time. I look forward to this.

Terry Gross, my love for you is boundless as a sea of burning lava.

Roald Dahl sure was right about one thing:

Mueller’s lawyer M. Gabriel McFarland asked Swift whether she was “critical” of her then bodyguard, Greg Dent, for not intervening. Swift responded, “No, I am critical of your client for sticking his hand under my skirt and grabbing my bare ass.”

I saw her!

Get Out meets Rosemary’s Baby, but whiter and with Jennifer Lawrence; redundant? Prove or disprove

We didn’t deserve you, and I apologize for the assholes who hurt your feelings and for those who hurt your daughter’s feelings.

She’s this country’s real life version of Wonder Woman.

I tried to woo a girl with Silverchair patch on her bookbag by showing off my knowledge of  The Silver Chair, fourth book of the Chronicles of Narnia. I didn’t know Silverchair was a band.

Police: “Freeze!”

Nope, too soon. It’s none of my business and I’m glad they’re all happy but all the hair stands on the back of my neck when this happens